Briefly: Okay, We Admit, You’re Not Old, You’re Sober, You’re Handsome, You Can Still Rock the Fuck Out, and We Want Your Sex

“Rolling Stones guitarist Keith Richards has demanded an apology from Swedish newspapers for their scathing reviews of the group’s performance in the country earlier this month.” Good fucking lord. From now on, Keith, Sweden and the rest of the world promise only the most positive fanboy write-ups and forty online licks of your taint. Gimme shelter from your douchebaggery. [USA Today]