I’m Back. I’m Back. I’m Back. I’m Back.

Get up offa that thing, and welcome my tired honkey ass home from what feels like a lifetime of traveling the wide open spaces of these United States. I’ve learned I’m way too soft for life on the road, yet my colleagues and I still negotiated eight cities in nine days over a two-week span (broken up only by Thanksgiving, a day in which we, I think, appreciate small pox blankets).

At many times I felt trapped in a Steve Miller Band song, hitting all four corners of the country and roaming the Midwest for good measure. And like Miller, I can now, in fact, claim that I “went from Phoenix, Arizona all the way to Tacoma.” That actually happened, though Philadelphia, Atlanta and L.A. were not on our itinerary. Wait, now that I think about it, what no-good fonzanoon managed Steve Miller’s tours? What kind of geographic dolt set that shit up? That guy deserves a swift kick in the vas deferens and perhaps a rabbit punch to the man-tits.

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I’d like to thank 1st Lt. Scott Bernstein for holding down the fort as brilliantly as could be expected with minimal aid and support (‘cuz my bullshit post about Levon Helm from Arkansas ain’t really considered “help”). And rest assured, as we go forward, we’ll bring you our best effort and some special year-end features — we promise they won’t be as awful as the rest of the schlock out there.

So stay tuned, because we’re gonna rock your shit. Now enjoy some JB.