Story of the Ghosts: Naming Your Band

Step 1: Understanding the Makeup of your Band

The first step is remarkably straightforward; it simply involves taking stock of what you are dealing with in your band. To achieve this, just answer the following questions and log them in your mental memory bank for later.

A) What type of music do you play, and do you identify yourselves with a specific genre — are you pretentious indie pricks, untz untz, or hardcore mimes?
B) Is this a superstar & backup band structure, or is the whole greater than the sum of its parts with every member considered an equal?
C) Who is the target audience and how hip to you aim to be?
D) Do you plan to be around in 10 years or so?

Step 2: Understanding the Various Types of Band Names

Now that you know who you are, it is time to familiarize yourselves with the options. After playing three or four days of Brain Pong, we’ve determined that there are roughly 10 broad categories of band names. Get very comfortable with these; you will need them shortly.

1. The Superstar Virtuoso and his Wingmen

This is one of the most popular methods of labeling a band. It certainly has its merits and has been utilized countless times, but it does introduce a power structure to the band and could be cause for problems. Also, this type of moniker often still involves coming up with a witty name for the backup band, so while it is considered by some as a cop out name, it still requires careful thought.

Successful Implementations: Bob Marley and the Wailers, Jerry Joseph & the Jackmormons, Bela Fleck & the Flecktones, The Derek Trucks Band, The Dave Matthews Band, Duke Ellington and His Orchestra

Suggestions: Wealthy Landowner and the Serfs; Lothar and the Hillpeople

2. The One Word Name

If you are going for hip, take special a note of #2. This is a very popular naming mechanism for indie rock bands. The One Word Name is effective in that it is easy to remember. The drawbacks are that it completely lacks originality and when your fans try to go to your website, they will likely find an IT consulting specializing in Crystal Reports that shares the same name. Ultimately, there are a finite number of hip-sounding words, so space is limited. On the other hand, you can always just use two words.

Successful Implementations: Spoon, Fugazi, Galactic, Tool

Suggestions: Gas, Landmass, Mandible, Chalupa

3. Rearranging the spelling of a commonly used word or phrase

This strategy has divine overtones given the monumental success of one of the original innovators of the strategy (see below). The success of this strategy relies heavily on the ability to incorporate the flexible spelling in a way that is unique, but not gaudy and reeking of trying to hard. Be wary of trying to use any Z’s here. This is a bad idea.

Successful Implementations: The Beatles, Phish, Too $hort

Suggestions: Throedown, The Phamily Truckster

4. Drug References

The drug reference name is quite popular amongst younger bands in the prime of their hard-partying youth. This seems like a great idea for a college band, but be careful here. This is like a tattoo, you are going to be stuck with this tag for a long time, so be sure you really want it. The key to success here is doing something subtle or really funny. Just throwing in drug references, because you think it makes you cool is like the white kid in high school with giant sub woofers in his Chevy Cavalier, pants below his ass with wife beater tucked in, and head tilted to 2 o’clock at all times. You’re trying to hard.

Successful Implementations: The Disco Biscuits, High Neighbors. (p.s., High Neighbors is one of my favorite band names ever)

Recommendations: Vile Liquid, Deemster Fog Machine, E-tards

5. Sports References

Using a sports reference for the band name is certainly for a niche audience, but it serves a nice dual purpose. It provides you with a massive database of material to work with and it also can serve as a tribute to teams and players you support. In some instances, the sports reference might go unnoticed to fans as these are fun to make obscure. Again, just make sure you are confident that you like the team or player you use, because you’re stuck with them. It might be wise to do a little due diligence before signing up with Michael Vick or Rae Carruth.

Successful Implementations: Vida Blue, Mookie Blaylock

Recommendations: Doc Ellis Screwball, Donald Igwebuike

6. Nature References

The old standby of the bluegrass set, the nature reference makes for a really tranquil-sounding name. A nature reference in the name helps put an image with the band and gives insight towards their way of life, places they play, and really emanates the type of music. If you’re into rivers, mountains, or highways (I count them, because they drive through lots of nature), you’re in the right place.

Successful Implementations: Railroad Earth, Lonesome River Band, Yonder Mountain String Band, Foggy Mountain Boys

Recommendations: The Badlands Brass Band, Banjos, Trains, The Great Plains

7. Utter Laziness

Some bands live by the old credo, “We’ll let the music do the taking.” In other words, they got sick of bickering with each other and threw in the towel on the name. This is a fine approach if coming up with a good name is causing problems, but leaves a lot to be desired. I really cannot see how anybody would want to tell people they are in a band called “The Super American Happy Fun Good Time Jamband,” nor do I really wanna have to talk about going to see them.

Successful Implemations: The Band, The Who

Suggestions: The Music, Playing Instruments, Various Notes Making Songs

8. What Would Ya Say Ya Do Here?

This type of name is pretty straightforward. It involves concocting a name that describes the music you play. This type of name is of the most logical as it tells potential listeners what to expect – a novel concept. This is particularly useful for blues and jazz musicians as the fan bases are dedicated and will likely check out most any band whose name implies this material.

Successful Implementations: Groove Collective, Paul Butterfield Blues Band, Funkadelic, New Grass Revival

Suggestions: Rupert and Stan’s Hasidic Jew Grass Band

9. Symbols

The symbol is largely uncharted territory. In order to pull this off, your band had better be larger than life, because the sheer logistical nightmare of choosing something that doesn’t have an actual phonetic pronunciation pretty much buries this as a viable option for most bands. Nevertheless, it has been done, so if you feel the need, this is still part of the toolkit.

Successful Implementations: Most sane people would argue that there have been no successful implementations, but the Artist Formerly Known as Prince came the closest.

Suggestions: The Schwa

10. Make up a Stage Name

The stage name typically requires a strong personality with a burning desire to make it big. The popularity of the stage name waned somewhat in recent years, but is never dead. Rappers and Hip Hop artists have not only kept it alive, but also turned legions of fans and wannabes into MCs, Doggs, and DJs. One of the great things about making up a stage name is that it gives the flexibility to subtly throw in references from literature, music, film, or elsewhere.

Successful Implementations: Bob Dylan, Sir Elton John, Sir Mix-A-Lot, Pink Floyd, Da Brat

Suggestions: Lance Mobius III, Rupert Entwistle of Everlords and Dark Forest, MC Coupe De Ville, Robert Zimmerman, DJ Doniac Schvice

Step 3: Putting it all together

As you can see, the options are nearly limitless. So, step 3 is where you need to tie it all together. Take stock of what you decided about yourself in Step 1 and then apply it to Step 2. The idea is that you should be able to use the way you view yourselves as a band to come up with an appropriate combination of the elements in Step 2 to generate with the perfect label for your greatness.

Now, just to be clear, it is perfectly fine to use just one element from our list of 10 provided above, but combining the various elements that most accurately reflect your band’s personality will not only lead to a more creative name, but also one that you are likely to enjoy for years to come.

For example, let’s say you play bluegrass, like sports, and want to throw a drug reference in the mix for some street cred. In other words, you need to mix up a cocktail containing one part #8, one part #5, and one part #4. Sounds like a fine blend to me. Mix in the various ingredients and presto.

Your New Band Name: Pickin’ Roll Your Face Off

Are you getting the hang of this? Let’s try one more. This time let’s say you like the idea of a superstar/back band type of lineup, want to use a stage name, want a witty one word name for the backup band, and prefer to spice it up a bit with a literary reference. Mix one part #1, one part #2, and one part #10.

Your New Band Name: Kilgore Trout and the Tralfamadorians

Next, let’s take a look at how one of today’s burgeoning talents may have crafted their band name. This band plays bluegrass and wanted to include a muted booze reference with feel good overtones. Simple: Just mix up #8 and #4

Your New Band Name: The Hot Buttered Rum String Band

Now that you have seen how it is done, it is important to maintain a balance. The temptation to do too much is great, so you’ll want to use some restraint. Just like mixing drinks, too much variety in the ingredients is gonna leave a bad taste and probably make people wanna puke. For example, one might argue that this well known band may have stirred their drink a little too stiff. What happens when you add two parts #4, four parts #3, one part #8, and one part #9?

Your New Band Name: əkoostik Hookah

So, one might argue that there is too much of a good thing, but what is most important is that the band is happy with the decision. Hopefully this little tutorial will aid you on your quest to concocting the perfect name for your band. One you have that, everything else is cream cheese.