Uncensored Thursdays: Phallus Sniffing Is Apparently Now An Art Form

It’s time once again to check in with irreverent mind behind Uncensored Interview’s blog The Shark for another installment of Uncensored Thursdays…

Apologies up front. I’m not usually this outwardly vulgar so early on a Thursday morning, but someone linked me to a video this morning, and it’s quite possibly the greatest thing I’ve seen since my first vagina. Ladies, how can you tell if your man is cheating on you? Hire a private eye to tail him, rummage through the call log on his cell phone while he’s asleep, secretly follow him when he goes to his “friend’s” house. Or you can just cut to the chase and smell his dick:

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[CLICK HERE TO VIEW THE VIDEO]

No, this isn’t a joke, this is a real song (available on iTunes) by a gal named Riskay, who just happens to be a fledgling indie hip hop artist (I smell an Uncensored Interview! and maybe a dick). I’m speechless right now. I have so many questions that I want answered, but I just don’t know where to start. Does this really work? How do you even go about it? Do you start at the head and sniff your way down? Or start at the base and work your way up? What are we actually trying to get a whiff of out anyway, another woman’s vagina? Do all vaginae have distinctive smells? What if his dick smells like a another dick? Or a cantaloupe? Does that mean he’s been violating fruit? Does he get to smell your vagina afterward? What if his dick smells like his dick? Isn’t that kind of awkward, you just sitting there, nose to his dick for no reason? How does one practice dick smelling? How does one even come up with the idea in the first place? My fucking head is about to explode.

Have we really reached a point in our American culture where communication and trust are at such all time lows that we have to actually resort to cock-sniffing to maintain a monogamous relationship? I’m beginning to think this country is heading in the wrong direction. We might as well just start dusting for prints and swabbing for DNA. You could even make a show about it:

Side note: Can you imagine William Peterson dusting an erect penis for prints? It would rate up there with the M.A.S.H. finale as one of the greatest moments in television history