So, Which One of You Did This?

C’mon, fess up!

I HAVE LIVED OFF OF COUNTY HWY D NEAR ALPINE VALLEY FOR THE PAST 24 YEARS AND OFTEN FEEL THE RESIDUAL NEGATIVE EFFECTS OF THE CONCERTS. NEVER HAVE I HAD AN INCIDENT SUCH AS THE ONE THAT OCCURRED ON SATURDY NIGHT (JUN. 20) FOLLOWING A “PHISH” MUSICAL. OUR DOG WOKE US AT 1:30 AM MAKING A RUCKUS. WE HAVE A SMALL WARMING HOUSE NEAR THE EDGE OF THE HIGHWAY THAT I BUILT FOR OUR DAUGHTERS (NOW GROWN) TO WAIT FOR THE SCHOOLBUSES IN. THE LIGHT IN IT WAS ON AND SOMEONE WAS INSIDE. I PUT ON CLOTHES AND APPROACHED AND FOUND HIM DEFECATING ON THE FLOOR. HAD HAIR LOOKED LIKE A DOORMAT. EYES WERE BUGGY LIKE I REMEMBER ON MEN IN VIETNAM. I HAD A SHOTGUN AND TOLD HIM HE WAS GOING TO CLEAN UP THE DEFECATE. BUT I AM OLD (71 NOW) AND MADE A MISTAKE, RETURNING TO THE HOUSE TO GET A HOSE AND BUCKET. HE RAN IN THE DIRECTION OF THE INTERSTATE AND I DIDNOT FOLLOW.

MY MESSAGE IS THIS: GET YOUR PEOPLE IN ORDER “PHISH”. AND NEVER COME TO ALPINE VALLEY AGAIN. SHAME ON YOU. I AM POSTING ON CRAIGLIST BECAUSE I HAVE USED IT TO SELL TRUCK PARTS AND LAWN FURNTITURE AND DOUBT AN EDITOR’S LETTER IN THE JOURNAL/SENTINEL WILL REACH “PHISH” PEOPLE, WHO MY NEIGHBOR SAYS ARE MOSTLY FROM ILLINOIS OR EASTCOAST. I AM ALSO LOOKING FOR AN APOLOGY FROM THE MAN WHO COMMITTED THIS ACT. HE LEFT BEHIND A WHITE HAT WITH AN ALIEN ON IT. ALSO A GLASS THING. I AM GOING TO THROW THEM AWAY.

[via Craigslist, HT – AceCowboy]

Update [4PM EDT]: Mr. Glass Thing and Alien Hat wants his shit Back, well…not the shit. [HT – The_Goff]

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18 Responses

  1. Wooks don’t discriminate between an “outhouse” and a “warming house.” Just leaving a log for the fire, I guess.

  2. If you don’t need that “Glass thing” I’d be happy to take it off your hands. And the Reddit hat.

    Kthnxluvyabi

  3. Every single conceivable group has someone like this. It’s not just “Phish People”. Even the uber rich in The Hamptons has some jack ass who would do this. My point, it’s not the band, it’s the individual.

  4. Look, I’d bet this is a chuckle. But to the larger point, while yes, any band who attracts the numbers as Phish does will get conflated with folks who have “slipped on the rug,” so to speak. However, after a few gigs at Jones Beach and Camden, the behavior of many has me quite troubled. From pre-show puking to using the fact that one is spun as an excuse to shove and elbow us old folks out o the way this trend seems to have become an epidemic. Trey sounds great, I had a blast, and I love the fact that they can play Alpine and in the morning I can listen to the gig on the NYC subway. I guess my point is to ask everybody to help a stranger if they are way too high or confused and perhaps have gotten lost from their friends at the gig. Finally, if one of your crew is past the point of being self-sufficient, deal with it. It happens at one point to just about all of us. Hell, I had to be “helped” out of a Dead show in 1985 after harassing people about Israel and the pre-1967 border dispute.

  5. Bobby M, one of the most honest comments I’ve seen in a while. Between The Wooks and The Nitrous Mafia, there are some weird messed-up people on tour.

  6. Pingback: Phish creates Joy

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