Super Bowl Trailer Round Up: ‘Stranger Things’; ‘Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2’; ‘The Handmaid’s Tale’; and More

For movie nerds, the Super Bowl means one thing and one thing only: New trailers. This year offered a wide array of fresh adverts for tomorrow’s blockbusters, all of which polished with a clean shine befitting the largest TV day of the year. This year’s batch covers the gamut of modern cinema, from high octane sequels to potential remakes to potentially groundbreaking originals. Mostly sequels though, because that’s the only thing making money these days. Hey, you get what you pay for, right? Nowhere is this more true than at the movies.

John Wick Chapter 2-February 10

I could watch Keanu Reeves’s hardcore assassin 24/7, which is about the rate I’ve been watching and rewatching all the trailers leading up to its release. All of them tell me one thing: It’s gonna be John Wick as fuck. That is a beautiful thing.

A Cure for Wellness-February 17

Gore Verbinski’s neo-gothic drama is either going to be the sleeper hit of dump month or will fall with a thud so fantastic it’ll resonate throughout the rest of the year. There’s not going to be a lot of in between on this one, but I’m half in already.

Logan-March 3

Oh, God, another X-Men movie. The run up is always the same: The previews look amazing, they make you think they’ve finally got the formula right, excitement runs high, and then you see it and realize it’s the same bullshit they’ve been making since 2000. This one is different though. It’s rated R. That means it’s good. Right? RIGHT?!

Life-March 24

I, also, enjoy the Alien movies.

Ghost in the Shell-March 31

The story that legitimized anime gets an unnecessary live action remake that also happens to look kind of badass, but will probably be disappointing. Boy, if that’s not ever a metaphor for these times of ours.

The Fate of the Furious-April 14

So, I haven’t seen a single one of these movies since the original, and I’m starting to think I’ve missed some plot points along the way. Is that a fucking submarine?! Are they racing a submarine?! Street racing has changed, man.

The Handmaid’s Tale­-April 26 (Hulu)

I’m glad that 1984 has sold out in the last couple of weeks since the inauguration, but Margaret Atwood’s horrifying dystopia is the book we really should be reading. Hopefully this series sparks a new interest in the novel, and maybe we can all work on trying to prevent this from actually happening.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol 2-May 5

We. Are. Groot.

Baywatch-May 26

I didn’t not giggle at, “Freedom”? I still can’t tell what this movie is trying to be, but that might be my own stubborn insistence on ignoring the fact this is movie is happening and there’s nothing I can do about it. Also, between this and The Fate of the Furious, apparently the real winner of the Super Bowl was The Rock.

Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales-May 26

Is this really the world we live in?

Transformers: The Last Knight-June 23

Apparently, yes.

Stranger Things season 2­-October 31 (Netflix)

I can’t tell if I’m more excited about the second season of this amazing series or about the inevitable hot takes from people who are going to insist that everything awesome is actually awful and that we should hate all that is beautiful in this world. Who wants waffles?

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