‘No Safe Spaces’ Is An Egregious, Tiresome White Male Tantrum (FILM REVIEW)

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I’ll readily admit, when I saw the words ‘Adam Carolla’ and ‘documentary’ in the same subject line, I jumped at the chance to see what kind of nonpartisan storytelling one could expect from the long-running poster boy for white male mediocrity. And boy, did it not disappoint.

As one might ascertain from the title, No Safe Spaces is a documentary in the loosest possible sense of the word, fabricating a moral and cultural crisis out of the issue of conservative speech not being allowed on certain college campuses. Spearheaded by Carolla with conservative Dennis Prager at his side, the two take turns mansplaining each and every pearl clutched between their pale, white knuckles.

What’s most telling about No Safe Spaces is how utterly predictable it is. I saw Carolla along with Dr. Drew during a live edition of Love Line back in ’97 or ’98, and for some godawful reason, Carolla’s story about going into the carpet cleaning business out of high school is burned into my brain. Naturally, that story comes up here, only this time as some kind of obliteration of his ‘supposed’ white privilege. Likewise, it’s peppered with South Park clips, cherry-picked C-SPAN footage, and devastating testimony from the likes of Jordan Peterson, Charlie Kirk, and Ben Shapiro. Yay.

Oh, there’s also some random anecdote about kids having to wear bike helmets, just in case you were worried you wouldn’t be able to hit all the squares on your ‘Old Man Yells At Cloud’ BINGO card.

As a documentary, No Safe Spaces fails spectacularly by not including any opposing viewpoint. It not only ignores it, but dismisses it entirely as tepid, unfound, and entirely unworthy of serious consideration. Or it manipulates its audience with stock footage of everyone from armed guards to Antifa with VERY DRAMATIC MUSIC. Alternately, it does manage to rope in a few talking points and some isolated anecdotes lobbed by liberals. While it tokenizes their political outlook, it shamelessly coopts their amiable opinions as a kind of ideological black friend.

Interestingly, the doc (again, using that term loosely) does point out that this apparently worrisome anti-conservative shift came about around 2015. What’s never explored, or even mentioned, is that this is the same year that Trump’s campaign (and later presidency) began its slow infection of the GOP on a whole, crystalizing the racism and xenophobia that’s woven into American society and thrusting it back to the forefront. Instead, opts for archived footage of professional hate-monger Ann Coulter hiding out in an airport as a means to gain some kind of sympathy.

Big swing and a miss, there.

Bafflingly, yet again predictably, for all the contemptuous disdain that’s lobbed on by this indulgent piece of shit, Carolla and Prager go out of their way to victimize themselves and their demographic’s outsized electorate influence at every possible turn. Never in this motherfucker’s 100-minute runtime do either Carolla or Prager seriously engage in any kind of opposing viewpoint. Instead, it sandtraps itself with talking heads that further entrenches their own infantile, self-aggrendizing, and laughably outdated outlook on the world.

No Safe Spaces is now playing in select theaters.

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80 Responses

  1. Quite an emotional review over a documentary. You obviously walked into the showing with very strongs feelings about the subject which you manifest by namecalling and using four letter words, the most juvenile non-violent response on an elementary school play ground. Where did you learn to communicate that way? I can only imagine the satisfaction you felt as people you disagreed with in the film were physically attacked. The “tactics” you cite that the filmakers use, such as not including opposing viewpoints and using “dramatic music”, is fairly commonplace in liberal and leftist docs as well. Have you mentioned those cinematic techniques in left leaning film reviews or do you not notice that when it fits in with your global narrative. Everyone has a bias and an agenda. Yours comes through quite clearly as well. If your review were to consist of only that which addressed the production and political perspective of the film itself, even offering a rationalization of the violence depicted without any of your personal insults and ad hominem attacks about those involved, it wold have been a short byline. Come on. Use your “big words”.
    You define free speech and rational dialogue as laughably outdated.
    You know nothing of history and therefore are destined to repeat it.
    Good luck with that the next time Adolf, Joseph and Mao come back into power.
    They will reappear and when they do, the “critics”, of which you are one, are the first to be executed. Be careful what you sow.

  2. I thought the movie was very well done and kept the audience engaged with some humor. It does tell the truth about the first amendment issue that is going on in our country today and how the younger generation seem to be butt hurt so easily.
    I never pay mind to any movie critic views – especially when they are evidently biased!

  3. I really felt like the comments about “whiteness” were really counterproductive and intellectually lazy. I got the sense that the writer just wrote this off the top of his head and didn’t even pause to edit or find more depth.

  4. The only thing I learned from this review is that the writer is a moron and that the movie is, consequently, probably worth seeing.

  5. What a hateful, judgmental, subjective review, from someone who probably calls himself an objective journalist, or reviewer.
    Maybe put your big boy pants on, and leave the prejudice and hysteria at home, with the foul language and insults, before going to write something that is supposed to be an objective review. You sound like you should be in the streets of portland, with your antifa friends, chanting nasty things, and physically attacking people, for disagreeing with your opinions.

  6. A very tiresome knee jerk review that he could’ve written withought seeing the film.

    On the other hand, this is a story and issue worth talking about. Free speech must be protected at all cost.

  7. Fake news. This criticism of the movie is purposely written to be absurd and inflammatory. Don’t get worked up by this joke who is supposedly named “Christian Long.” Intentional nonsense. Hahahaha!

  8. That was a monumental amount of words used to convey the opinion one could have easily surmised, had you just said, “I want to punch these Nazis”.

    That was easily the most infantile and visceral review of a flick I have ever seen, and it only proves the point the filmmakers were attempting to make. Tolerance is on life support.

    So, bravo, I guess.

  9. Wow, such condescending hypocrisy, though why would expect anything less from a self described “progressive”. I guess liberals only get “triggered” when it’s their values being dismissed without considering others point of view. At no time do you ever stop to ask why freedom of speech should not only be preserved but embraced by those on both side of the aisles. I imagine if you were told you couldn’t post your rebuttal to this film you might feel otherwise. Free speech leads to discourse, which leads to discussion, which leads to the sharing of information and opinions which in turn leads to new ideas and ways of thinking. Not since the rise of Nazism in the 1930 has the thought of stifling free thought and speech been so openly and blindly embraced. What are you so afraid of if your values and thought process are so bulletproof? Personally I think it speaks volumes about how fragile your argument’s are when your unwilling or unable to listen to opinions different than your own.

  10. Poor poor “critic.” There, there. You need a cookie?

    You’re the reason your profession is detested by any human being with reason and a real job.

  11. Agreed, you were definitely triggered before you saw the movie. Sound biased to me. I bet you were screaming at the movie screen. Nothing wrong with being white, so stop your nonsense. You are exactly why this movie was made.

  12. How ironic. This review exemplifies the premise of the film: the moronic identitarian ‘woke’ culture and the substitution of ad hominems (look it up) for civil and substantive argument.

    Definitely will see the film.

  13. Is there anything beside scoffs, consternated eyerolls, and shrugs in this … piece of urban decay? Can anyone point out anything else?

  14. Wow. This is a critic? I didn’t feel it was conservative or liberal. It is pointing out the danger of losing our freedom of speech. It had interviews from all over the spectrum with Obama even having a bit of common sense to add to the conversation. Not sure what was lost in translation but this ‘critique’ is shocking.

  15. What a garbage article and clearly biased take. For anyone that listens to Adam Carols you would know he is the farthest thing from a conservative or a racist. The “author” needs to seriously think their “career” which seemingly is already not doing well.

  16. Must give props to a writer who can use every pejorative, discussion-ending label to avoid confronting reality.

    Ask Milo, Shapiro, Coulter about efforts to silence them in Berkeley. Ask Jordan Peterson & Prof Allison Stanger about violence. Heck, even Andrew Klavan had his speech at Boston interrupted this week by “free speech activists.”

    When was the last time a leftist speaker was shouted down, or their audience assaulted, or there being a need for police protection?

    Sure, it’s whining to decry barbarians who try to prevent speech with violence. After all, the 1A only applies to folks like you who have the right beliefs.

  17. I got some “mansplaining” here for you snowflake. Return your soy latte, and grow a pair! That is all… Until that happens, your online posting bitch comments are suspended until which time you can prove you are capable of an actual thought.

  18. Must be tough critiquing something which is directed against your own subhuman and degenerate ideology. Poor little Christian Long. :'(
    Want a hanky?
    Jesus, I cannot believe you actually make money from producing this garbage. At least try to be neutral, perhaps? Try not to bring your own personal ideolog and worldview into a fucking documentary CRITIQUE… That should be the basics. Hardly a wonder your profession is despised among real humans.

    Like, bro I’m as black as it gets and I’m offended by this crap. Stop bringing race into this. Any person with common sense, including us black folks on campus (yes, we exist), should reject this dangerous kind of thinking. Why does it have to be identity politics? Why not see the individual? Really don’t get it.
    As for the idea of safe spaces, they do not help. We even have clinical evidence that they don’t help. Psychotherapy works with exposure. Exposure to things you’re not comfortable with. Whether that’s spiders or opinions which trigger you, the idea is to expose yourself for so long that they don’t trigger you anymore. That’s psychotherapy 101. I mean literally 101. First lecture, first semester, this is what we were taught. But should be common knowledge as well if you ask me. Safe spaces have been proven to widen trauma, they are no way of dealing with opinions you cannot handle, just like in general, avoiding something yo u cannot handle will never make you grow as a person, and never make you be able to handle these things.
    In the past, I would have probably written “kys” under a post like this, but given how triggered the critic appears to be already, he would probably do it. IF he is even a real person to begin with. Sounds a lot like corporate opinion-trading rather than individual brain damage.

  19. Well I guess I’d better go see this. Luckily it’s playing in my neighborhood tonight. BTW Dennis Prager is one of the wisest men I’ve ever listened to. No wonder YouTube censors him.

  20. Hahaha what a to pathetic review. The responses to his drivel were however, priceless and an enjoyable to read. Again, the reason for the film is a generation of thinkers like you, Chris.

  21. Lame review! Perhaps you didn’t notice Van Jones or Bill Maher. I’m assuming your Journalism professor preached narrative and far-left activism over substance. Intellectual diversity is about being exposed to different ideas. Stop judging people based on skin color, gender, ethnicity, and orientation. Yeah, most people in our country promoting socialism, communism, and intersectionality happen to be a majority white progressives. And they believe they’re better than everyone else. My family comes from a country where you get thrown in prison for espousing the wrong views and your position is offensive to my Brown family. But, because I value freedom of speech, I would always fight for your right to craft and publish crappy lazy reviews.

    Judging by the other comments here, You’ve been owned..

  22. This wasn’t a review. It was a spastic outburst. Childish at it’s core with a thick layer of unprofessionalism. Your name is on the list.

  23. Rotten Tomatoes critic score 44% Users score 100% Who values the 1st Amendment more? Oh, and Jeffrey Epstein didn’t kill himself.

  24. While I agree with all the comments, I have to give props to Glide Magazine for having open and uncensored comments. I got to many liberal websites, because unlike
    Mr. Long, I actually want to hear and sometimes value opposing views, but I have noticed the more left leaning the website, the less likely they allow comments, or if they do, it’s heavily censorsed…

    1. Thanks Andy. This review expresses the views of the writer, not the publication, and we agree that all perspectives need to be heard as long as they do not contain hate speech.

  25. The one and ONLY time I have checked this rag’s website….Heard this douche bag slammed “No Safe Spaces” and had to read it. Toilet paper is more useful.

  26. I LOVE IT!!!!

    Clearly, the reviewer is a pathetic whiny little bitch.
    Cockled mommys boy.

    The comments are bang on.

    All of this, the review and the comments are worth re posting on FB.

    To the SJWr, keep up your pathetic narrative and for all those that commented report this on your SM feeds.

  27. Hahaha!!! Who else can see Christian Long laying on the ground kicking and screaming pounding his fists?!?!?! ….oh man! Those are some #LeftistTears right there!

  28. As my Mama would say, “Bless your pointy little head”. Son, from the looks of these responses, I think you just got your ass handed to you. Now if you don’t understand what I just said, you go find a man and they’ll explain it to you. You probably don’t have one around. You may want to talk to someone whose sweat you live off of. A farmer or rancher, a mechanic or a cop. Maybe someone in the military or even a banker or engineer. Find someone that has a profession. Probably not someone you’re used to dealing with. That’s OK. They’ll speak slowly to you, they remember what it was like to be a child and be all full of themselves. They turned six and got serious, you can too. If you try.

  29. I’ve gleaned 2 sure facts from this article:

    1: The author is a huge pussy, and useless person.

    2: If the film makes this little bitch cry, it must be good.

  30. Wow. You are the epitome of why this documentary was necessary. It was an incredibly well done doc. You obviously allowed your feelings to cloud your ability to do your job. It would be funny, were it not so sad. So called journalists are a thing of the past, for the most part.

  31. Thanks to this neo-leftist drivel, I have a greater desire to watch the documentary. So much for objectivity in journalism. You’re a joke.

  32. Wow, you had to write this review to elicit a response to your uneventful life. Either that or you are the mega snowflake! What a waste of oxygen you are! You know nothing about Adams upbringing and how his hard work and motor is an inspiration to his audience. He inspires us (his audience) to wake up everyday and strive to do his best, not our best.

  33. The review was just an angry opinion piece that seems to reinforce the need for an anti safe space documentary. Hypocrisy, of course, found in the review… Complaining about not arguing the counter view and then doing the same with your opinion.

  34. This is not a review, it is a biased hit piece. Christian Long uses insults and egregious and absurdly inflammatory characterisations of the content from the documentary in an attempt to mock the authors and producers of the film. The entire review is disingenuous and a feeble attempt to invalidate the evidence and conclusions presented within it. When logic cannot be found to back him up, he even resorts to using obscenities to try to give support to his opinions. Who can take such a review seriously when animus exudes through every word.

  35. Triggered snowflake Chris long achieved ONE MAJOR thing is this lmao “REVIEW”.
    He single-handedly made me send this drivel online to others to help make this documentary even more successful.
    Just like Dinesh D’ousza’s:Hillary’s America
    Not a single part of the documentary were challenged as unfactual.

    Contrast that with Algore’s comedy :
    An Inconvenient Lie where the World is alive and well and not swallowed up by flooding and empty beaches among many idiitic claims from elitist idiot AL Gore.

    Facts matter.
    Libs lie to get what they want.
    Truth matters.
    Snowflakes are ill equipped mentally for real world.

    Chris Long thanks for dopey review.
    We might all just bring a liberal to see it and convert them to realistic understanding that the far left have lost their mind.

    DA in SF just acknowledged no arrests for public shorting or urinating.
    No arrests for prostitution
    No arrests for camping out and blocking sidewalks and destroying business.

    NYC cant stop subway shoppers anymore.

    NY & Cali (both 90% democratic run) are toilet laden cesspools and masses are fleeing high costs/high crime sanctuary hells.

    Move from Texas Chris Long to be with YOUR people….Texas and low taxes cant possibly be a nice place for a libtard like you. Btw. Journalism and reviews are “supposed to be objective, which you aren’t. Stick to GLIDE……lmao……slippery slope to nowhere!

  36. Glide doesnt even print all comments.
    Censoring comments bc the review is obscenely biased, and author is blatantly incompetent.

  37. This is a junior high movie review, at best, filled with triggered emotion and identity politics. Christian Long’s left wing bias is completely transparent and he has zero self awareness of it. This review is filled with childish insults, and vulgar language. I take my earlier comment back. A junior high student could write a much better review than Long did.

  38. Replace the word white with black and you have one of the most racist movie reviews of all time. Just because its culturally acceptable to be racist towards a group of people because of their skin color doesn’t make it right.

  39. You call this a review??? It’s a rant.

    A word of advice to Mr. Long. If you want your opinions to be thoughtfully considered by those you disagree with, avoid the disparaging, hateful tone of your remarks. You might actually convince someone that your opinion has value.

    I’m just wondering….did you go to college to learn to write reviews like this? If so, then No Safe Spaces is a MUST SEE.

  40. One of the best movies I’ve ever seen. If the author wants opposing view point then all he needs to do is turn on the TV or watch any movie from Hollywood, or visit a liberal campus where only people with his loony beliefs are allowed. Liberalism is a mental disorder.

  41. LarryLinn — There is an enormous difference between principled opposition, even expressed by boos, and savage violence perpetrated by masked-faced Thought Police wannabes like the Anti-First Amendmenters (who most certainly are NOT “antifascists” since antifascists generally do not behave exactly LIKE fascists). And, anyway, WTF is your point? Are you justifying Long’s leftwing fascism or not? Don’t hide under moronic ripostes.

  42. Larry Linn — If you can’t tell the difference between “Donald Trump, Jr. gave a speech a few days ago at UCLA, and was booed of the stage, by……. conservatives” and the distressingly frequent examples of Antifa and other Marxist-anarchist violence on college and university campuses across the country (or at least the left-wing coasts), from Berkeley to Middlebury and the relentless assault on the First Amendment rights of conservatives, Republicans, dissenters, etc then I don’t know what to say, except, “Sad”.

  43. Wow! Loads of triggered boomers who have no evidence other than “truthiness” to counter-argue the review.
    The film was incredibly biased.
    It was told from the perspective of white people with, ironically, NO oppositional points of view to present a true debate (spewing vitriol over misquoted individuals doesn’t count) – no voice was presented to bring to the table full and contextual balance..
    When you’re used to privilege, equality feels like discrimination and opposition like bullying.
    Toughen up! The world will never be yours again. Equality is here to stay. Try and make it in your favour as much as you can – but know this, no matter how many ways you right-winger extremists try to paint things, the next generation will replace you. The youth have had a gut-full, and critical thinking will eventually win the day.
    So pack up your propaganda machines, because “common sense”, which in reality are the fruits of the spirit, shall prevail: “Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Faithfulness, Gentleness and Self Control”.
    Run the Films toxic whinging rhetoric by that verse and see what is closer to Jesus: Social Justice, or The presented racist, white supremacist bigotry.
    Jesus was a left-wing revolutionary who questioned the legalist right-winger Pharisees of the day! Test it out – maybe then you’ll transcend you blind faith in misinformation.
    Good luck to you all!

  44. Neitzsche once said, “its just as important to make the right enemies as it is to make the right friends” You just proved his point and validated the purpose of this movie with your infantile diatribe… As long as I am breathing,NOBODY has the right to tell me what to think , do or say and I will gladly die fighting rather than give that right to any petty wanna be dictator who thinks that he/she/zee/zim /zir dar dar darr is superior to me and therefore has the right to own me or my mind. If you are so assured of the validity of your position, PROVE IT WITH FACTS not threats and insults. All you’ve done is prove to me the validity of the thesis being postulated by this movie and galvanized my resolve to see it and share it as much as possible
    If you truly want to bear witness to an ” indulgent piece of shit”, may I suggest you invest in a full length mirror and gaze into it lovingly in the echo chamber of your anti- fa comrades. Go back to sand box and continue to throw your temper tantrum there little boy while daddy fetches his bar of soap ! From now on I suggest you leave the thinking for the grown ups. You’ve obviously still got a lot of that to do.

  45. I haven’t seen this movie. I haven’t read your article either. With that being said the title alone has me ecstatic about seeing it. Your uneducated ignorant entitled dribble energizes me like Pennywise with fear. “Mmmyum yum yum” louie ck voice

  46. Hilarious. When you have Dennis Prager as a host of your show, you know it’s going downhill fast. Since Adam couldn’t find work like his old mate Kimmel could, he is another bitter, angry white man. Poor white people. It’s horrible to have to look at brown people when you walk around daily. THere ought to be a law… And as far as free speech, who is the one out there telling people that he disagrees with they should be locked up? That’s a pretty soviet style threat the Cheetoh in Chief™ is making. And he is the one who wants protesters beaten up. Sounds like the triggered ones are the reich-wing nutters out there that need protection from melting. The ignorance of the right is getting to be scary.

  47. Thousands of liberal movies and shows. These fascist cant stand anyone else to have just ONE movie. No other views allowed. How intolerant and totalitarian.
    Other people are allow to have a voice too. Sorry that pisses you off. Go move to north korea if you only want one view allowed and constant censoring and oppression.

  48. Oh and your a racist and sexist. Very disgusting. I know you hate those that tried their best to build a free society the best they could it may not be perfect but neither would/is anyone elses. I thank men for all the things they have created. I find it funny how people complain but enjoy the benefits and people coming to have the same. If its so bad why you want to be here. Universities that have taken over by marxist have brianwashed this writer and students on negative, hate, and division. Students are bored cause they have it too good.. all trained activists.

  49. Ha ha, I agree with all the scathing reviews above. This white male bashing is sooooo tiresom. There are so many more constructive thing you could do with your time. Get a hobby Christian.
    I a m going to watch this doco and enjoy it just to piss you off.

  50. This review just proves the point of this entire movie LMAO! So predictable. Do you really think you are being intelligent? The opposite of insight.

  51. The funniest thing about this “review” is when this soy boy criticises the documentary for failing to show an “opposing viewpoint”……..
    Considering the point of the entire program is to expose the weird bubble world of the gender neutral, anti free speech, supposed antifa (fascists) in their full flight and repeatedly does this over and over…. I think the “opposing viewpoint” is more than equally exposed… That was the whole point of the movie!!!
    Christian Long is a typical example of a leftist, programmed fool who is overly opinionated and has an over extended opinion of his own intelligence. Instead, he was indoctrinated with a false education by other similarly minded fools, and raise his head high enough to see the reality of commonsense… I feel sorry for him.
    One thing is for sure, this snowflake crybaby would never have the guts to call anyone a “piece of shit” or a “motherfucker” to their face, without wetting his pants.
    My money would be on Dennis Prager, at the ripe old age of 71, putting this petulant child over his knee and smacking the narcissm out of little Christian….

  52. A prime example of exactly what the film is about: knee-jerks[offs] embracing totalitarian ignorance.

  53. So, who was triggered more? The author of this review or all the melting snowflakes in these comments?

  54. Wow. Reminds me of how my ex used to “argue” a “point”, by use of vitreal hurled through swear words riding waves of non-substance.

  55. My hat is off to glidemagazine dot com for allowing these comments to see the light of day.

    Bravo, good fellows.

    It does, however, highlight how poor your “reviewer” is at their “job”, and how he proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, the exact points that the filmmakers espoused. For you to leave this epic self own online and allow comments on it that ratio TF out of him, is a true win for the 1st Amendment.

  56. I can just imagine the writer of this “review” with his arms crossed and a sourpuss. It made me chuckle!

  57. Wow, this review really brought out alllll the fragile, butthurt Con trolls. Imagine all these commenters completely losing their shit over someone’s opinion of a mediocre Adam Carolla flick that was laughed out of theaters in days, and deservedly so.

    HAHAHAHA

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