Stop Stealing Food from STS9's Children

Sound Tribe Sector 9 keyboard player David “Lars Ulrich” Phipps has started using his laptop for things other than music. Phipps recently used his band’s message board, The Lowdown (snicker), to rant against the torrent site Oink.

Your best bet’s to take a moment and read Phipps’ complete open letter from The Lowdown site, but here’s the pertinent information of his rant:

So, until I get back to Amsterdam to seek this guy out and kick him in the nuts myslef, I can only turn to YOU, my FAMILY, to help put a stop to this. Please understand, you’re not stealing from a corporation. There is only the five of us. We make a living doing this, and only this. When you steal my music, YOU ARE STEALING FOOD FROM MY DAUGHTER’S PLATE. It really is that simple. When the new album hits next year, PLEASE, do me a favor, do the right thing. And encourage others to do so too. Torrenting: Its quick, its easy, its free…and its STEALING from your friend. Unlike the points on this message board, karma is real, and consider sts9 via oink to be triple-hexed.

Yes, folks, Phipps actually used the sentence “YOU ARE STEALING FOOD FROM MY DAUGHTER’S PLATE.” In caps! Let’s not forget, The Lowdown is a community of Sound Tribe Sector 9’s most die-hard fans. While I certainly understand the point Phipps is making, and his argument has some merit, perhaps it’s not best to bite the hand that feeds you, or in this case, the hand that feeds your daughter. Even the general news media has taken up the case of feeding Phipps’ child:

THE INTERWEB, Amsterdam (CNN) — Illegal downloads took 10 elbow pastas off the plate of a young girl, jamtronica band “STS9” said Wednesday.

Four pop-tarts were stolen directly from the mouth of bandmember ‘Phipps’ daughter in an afternoon download somewhere outside of Omaha on Tuesday about 6:50 a.m.

Less than three hours later, another bandmember’s son had his Reese’s Peeses Cups removed directly from his brown bagged lunch.

A large cantaloupe was stolen from Phipps at about 1:10 p.m. when music was illegally downloaded, also just outside of Omaha.

In Mechanicsville VA, northeast of Richmond VA, three dready teens with hemp-crystal necklaces were killed as the “result of nuts kicking” during Phipps’ retaliation, officials said.

As of Wednesday, 67 vegetables and almost a dozen breakfast foods have been stolen from STS9 in October, and the total for the year so far stands at 602 items of food stolen directly from plates. Since the start of Oink, STS9 has lost 2,775 pounds of food. Several Armani sports jackets have been lost in the campaign as well.

We’re all for artists getting paid, but we’re also for bands succeeding on the road so they don’t need to deal with this bullshit. Jon Fishman had a good take on it in 2002: “Ultimately in the end what the Internet means for musicians is that people can survive who can actually play their instruments and write good songs and don’t need tons and tons of bullshit behind it.” Well said, wook.

There are good ways to make a point and bad ways. Bringing the feeding habits of your daughter into the situation reeks of Latrell Sprewell, and we hope Phipps and the rest of STS9 treats their fanbase with a little less resentment in the future.

(Many thanks to our friend Neeko for that hilarious parody above)