Apparently Not Enough People Say “I’m Gonna Go Lishten To My Britney Shhpears Record”

If someone would have told me a month ago that the biggest album sales controversy in the music industry during the first week of November 2007 would involve Britney Spears and The Eagles, I’d probably punch them in the testicles and/or tits. Yet, somehow, that’s exactly what’s happening this week.

Billboard today announced a major change in its charting policy, and Billboard charts will now include exclusive sales that are only available through one retailer, like say, Wal-Mart and Starbucks. The move ensures that The Eagles’ first album in 28 years, “Long Road Out of Eden,” beat out Spears’ “Blackout” for the Number 1 slot on the Billboard 200 (pretty handily too, 711K to 290K), and Britney’s fans are none too pleased. There’s about to be some rioting in the whore-lovin’ streets.

Our source inside the company tells us most of the e-mails coming in contain all-caps “FUCK YOU BILLBOARD” pleasantries, and more than a handful want them to burn in hell. All this for changing its charts policy coincidentally during the week that some tub-of-goo trainwreck decided to come out of a drug-induced stupor to drop more schlock on the public. So let’s take a look at some comments from this Britney message board to see what the people are saying, because if nothing else, we love the people. There are some doozies:

And the fact billboard pulled this shit is stupid fuck them exactly anything to take britney down. Yea say its a chart, no it was her chance 300k is very good, people don’t see her album was leaked weeks before the release the demos months upon release. I’m sorry in the almost 10 years I’ve been a fan of britney this has to be the saddest thing be done to her. I would think billboard is on her side. No fucking hope. I still will listen and support our girl.

I only have one question (and not in 27 parts): Regardless of which artist sold more, America is buying these two fucking albums? The Eagles and Britney Spears? This country’s in bigger trouble than I thought. Down with people.