Furthur Fans: Stay Out of Sgt. Phil’s Zone

Deadheads have never had the best reputation, so it’s not surprising to see Furthur fans take shit from all sides when the band comes to town.

Yesterday, Gawker posted a letter that Sgt. Philip “Hot Phil” Mospan sent to the Cornell University Greek Community warning them that Grateful Dead fans would be coming into town for Sunday’s Further (sic) show looking to “set up camp wherever they can and will certainly avail themselves to the warmth of any open building. Even if they do not have tickets to the venue, they will still come in the hopes of gaining access to the concert, and they will be seeking shelter from the elements over the weekend.”

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Obviously Sgt. Mospan is living in early ’90s and doesn’t realize the traveling circus of today isn’t full of dirty hippies looking to take over campus buildings, especially with how much Furthur tickets cost.

Gawker Readers had a field day with the letter and busted out their favorite hippie jokes for the occasion in the comments section…

“Beware of strangers offering grilled cheese.”

“Campus police advise stowing valuables in the showers, preferably under a bar of soap.”

“Please report any hacky-sack circles to the police immediately.”

“How could they not warn the student body that the perpetrators will be selling beaded necklaces and sharing a message of peace?”

and of course…

“Jam bands are a scourge that must be dealt with.”

We bet the last one was written by someone who saw 50 Phish shows in the mid ’90s and now has tickets to five Pavement reunion shows. We’ve always been a self-hating bunch. Furthur’s show in Cornell will be broadcast on Sirius/XM’s GD channel on Sunday night. We hope the kind gentle souls of the Cornell Greek Community make it through the long weekend without any hippies “avail[ing] themselves to the warmth” of the frat houses.

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