Eliot Glazer

HT Contributor Eliot Glazer has tremendously terrible taste in music. But he’s an adroit wordsmith, and he’s gonna try to convince us that the bad is really good.

Even if you’re rooting for Sanjaya Malakar to throw the media mammoth that is American Idol, not everyone involved with the gargantuan show should be equally condemned. Sure, Idol has become an honest-to-god factory in mainstream music, churning out vocalists like Britney Spears does fully developed fetuses.

But aside from salvaging what is left of an industry that possesses a shriveling set of balls resting lightly below the digital-downloading guillotine, there have been a couple of considerable Idol offspring in its seven seasons. Kelly Clarkson’s Since U Been Gone is a certifiable pop classic, Jennifer Hudson gave life to an otherwise mediocre movie, and the adorable Jordin Sparks is poised to be both a tween sensation and perhaps this season’s sleeper.

Make no mistake, the judges’ favorite winner throughout the show’s history is Fantasia Barrino, a powerhouse saaanger whose emotional aptitude and tragic backstory (“Illiterate single mom chases dreams, ends on ‘high note!'”) have earned her adoring fans and critics alike. No, her music isn’t particularly stellar, but her most recent self-titled sophomore attempt was well-received for its march into a less-tread territory in the field of contemporary R&B.

Read on for more of Eliot’s claim that what’s perceived as bad is really good…

Friend of HT Eliot Glazer has tremendously terrible taste in music. But he’s an adroit wordsmith, and he’s gonna try to convince us that the bad is really good.

I read Stereogum. I read Pitchfork. I even dabble through Spin and Rolling Stone from time to time. But even as a trained musician, I refuse to consider myself any kind of authority on music.

Granted, I’ve always harbored moderately good musical taste, relying on the talents of artists whose work usually finds success among critics and college students (hello, cred!). Naturally, I would mention my surprisingly short DMB phase in high school with an air of exasperation here, although I can’t begin to imagine the amount of hate mail under which I’d find myself buried.

But for every Cat Power, Flaming Lips, and Nick Drake listed under the Artists on my iPod is an Alicia Bridges, Babyface, and at least one American Idol contestant, and not even necessarily a winner. It’s sad but true: I love bad music. I crave it. And I want you to love it with me.

Read on for the rest of Eliot’s first installment of “I Love Bad Music”…