Ladies and gentlemen, the debut of our newest contributor, Chuck Myers…
Stagger Lee was a bad motherfucker. Depending on who you believe, he might have killed a cop, murdered a bartender, filled a whore’s husband full of lead, fatally shot a man over a dice game and “taken care” of his wife, killed an acquaintance over a stolen hat, or possibly even taken control of Hell from the devil.

So if Stagger Lee Shelton were truly such a mean goddamn bastard, why are so many songs about him completely lame?
It didn’t used to be this way. Songs about Stagger Lee had teeth. They had fire. They had fear and awe and respect and pain and admiration. Songs about Stagger Lee were bad, in the same way Stagger Lee himself was bad. But somewhere along the line, the song “Stagger Lee” became…well, it just became bad.
People in the first half of the 20th century had the balls to take some chances with the song. In 1947, Memphis Slim recalled sitting on his mother’s knee and hearing the story about Stagger Lee and Billy Lyons. Billy was covered in blood from head to toe, and Stagger Lee told Billy’s wife, “You don’t believe your man is dead? Why don’t you look around the corner and see what a hole he has in his head?” That’s some cold-blooded shit that Memphis Slim was singing about. His Stagger Lee was fierce. Read on for the pussification of Stagger Lee…