Back Off, Jerk: Primitive Radio Gods’ “Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money in My Hand”

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A few years ago, I came upon the following pronouncement in a rock critic’s snarky column: “Listening to Primitive Radio God’s ‘Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth with Money in My Hand’ on YouTube is the equivalent of watching child pornography.” Obviously, this jerk takes his music too seriously — or child abuse not seriously enough. Hyperbole aside, this song is routinely derided because it epitomizes the morose sentiments glorified in the 1990s. I get it. Nobody wants to listen to a tune about the latchkey generation’s loneliness, especially if it transposes an African-American’s blues wail onto a modern rock pastiche. The comically long title doesn’t help. Nevertheless, I’ll hold my ground here because “Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth” puts forth a vibe of sadness that, in light of recent events, continues to resonate.

“Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth” begins with a moping bass line ensconced in click-track percussion. Then these primitive gods hit you with a sample from B.B. King’s “How Blue Can You Get.” The blues legend sings, “I’ve been down hearted baby/ever since the day we met.” In the original tune, B.B. pours out his frustration with a woman whose material needs he can’t satisfy. I think the sample is from one of his live versions he released on Live at the Regal or Live in Cook County Jail. Further along in the original song, B.B. comes completely unglued as the audience wails right back at him.

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The Primitive Radio Gods (really just singer-songwriter Chris O’Conner), however, don’t allow B.B. to get going, manipulating his vocals into a stammering outcry of absolute futility. Whereas the original song is a domestic argument over money (the subtext being that racist American institutions prevent African-Americans from advancing economically), “Standing Outside a Phone Booth” depicts a guy’s inability to achieve an emotional connection with his lover. Since the day they met, he has suffered from alienation from his feelings. Hence the lyric, “If I die before I learn to speak/Will money pay for all the days I lived awake but half asleep.”

O’Connor rocks a flat affect through a mélange of dadist images – my favorite is “you ride the waves/ don’t ask where they go/ you swim like lions through the crest/ and bathe yourself in zebra flesh” — and a bunch of fuzzy, sepia-toned sound effects that filter in and out. The tolling of a church bell adds to the solemnity of the whole scene. Before the final verse, a piano solo sprouts up that sounds like Thelonious Monk playing a tribute to fallen fireman on a piano prepared by John Cage. Finally, O’Connor blossoms into full voice at the end of the song, singing B.B.’s lines. It seems that he has moved from numbness to heart-break, which oddly enough is a move upward.

So why does all of this work? What saves “Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth” from indie-rock oblivion? More to the point, why has the song outlasted phone booths themselves? One reason is that the song oozes the feel of the mid 1990s — a nadir between the overweening pride of Baby Boomers and the chemically-enhanced optimism of Millennials. The muted tones of the song — the very lack of ambition conveyed by its lo-fi soundscape — is a nice respite from the mean-spirited smack-downs on reality cooking shows and the constant “Work Anniversary” reminders on Linked-In. Nostalgic? Sure, I have nostalgia for a time when the most pressing political issue was the stains on Monica Lewinsky’s dress and corporations didn’t rely on consumer peers to do their marketing for them through social media.

The “Why can’t I love you?” narrative of O’Connor’s opus continues to resonate in an age when Edward Snowden is the only person who believes in intimacy. And of course, walking down a street with no cell phone coverage is just as lonely as standing outside a broken phone booth with money in your hand.

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9 thoughts on “Back Off, Jerk: Primitive Radio Gods’ “Standing Outside a Broken Phone Booth With Money in My Hand”

  1. ropa de hombre barata Reply

    It’s really very complex in this full of activity
    life to listen news on TV, therefore I just use the web for that purpose, and take the most recent information.

  2. Tina Husted Reply

    Very Well written! The music I seem to love has come and gone like the rolls of waves. Speaking of I sure miss B.B. King! It would be nice to see the Primitive Radio Gods here in So Cal!

  3. don gaudreau Reply

    So did BB get any royalty for that? If not, I think it is being a parasite. If he did then it’s all good.

  4. denise Reply

    Love this song!

    • Michael Reply

      Agreed!

  5. Jeff Reply

    lol @ “rock critic”

    Critics are nothing more than delusional saps bitter about the fact that they can’t create anything of merit themselves, so their reduced to judging the work of others that they could never match if their lives depended on it.

    • Jeff Reply

      *they’re

  6. Aidan Reply

    It’s not quite nostalgia, is it? It’s not a time that was happy, and (my cadre of disaffected losers, at least) we weren’t happy – but we weren’t living in a dystopia yet. Everything we had predicted for ourselves in the 80s was wrong and honestly, it was impossible to be upbeat and happy when you couldn’t ever get your balance, so misery and detachment just happened naturally. But I, at least, assumed the wheel would turn in the future. Instead, the wheel toppled over and everything in the past decade or so has been hollow, collapsing into itself in a most cheery manner.

    I look back and think of this song as a marker of a sort, like a place where I can make a wormhole to the past, with a sense of frustration that I can only observe, and there is no connection on the other end of the call. That’s one reason it still resonates for me…but I imagine you could apply all of the above to other songs from those days.

  7. steve Reply

    what the fuk are you talking about Aidan

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