Now She Can Stand On Her Own Two, Uh…

Score one for one-legged hookers everywhere: The always-reliable, always-awesome British tabloids are reporting Heather Mills McCartney is about to receive 70 million pounds in the divorce settlement from her estranged husband Paul. Not surprisingly, that would be the largest separation payout in British history.

Given the British pound’s current 26-year-high against a weakening dollar, Mills is set to receive $143.8 million from Sir Paul. Yes, $143.8 million for getting fucked by Paul McCartney for four years. I think many people are asking, “Where was the pre-nup?,” but I think the better question is, “Where the hell can I sign up?”