I’ve invested a lot of time trying to like their music since high school, but it all sounds like watered-down country rock that has more in common with The Eagles than their fans want to admit. I’ve heard some of my favorite bands cover The Band and it still hasn’t helped. Although I can unequivocally say that each of the covers is vastly improved upon the original: Jerry’s The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down, Panic’s Chest Fever, hell, even some of those ’90s versions of The Weight that the Dead laid on us were better than the Canadians’ tired, convoluted hit. But hey, they were great songs to say you liked if you wanted some Hallway Cred in high school!
On top of it all, having taken credit for songs which appeared to have been collaborations with the rest of his band, Robbie Robertson sounds like the largest, most grandiose vaginal suppository in the history of recorded music. But I do give him some credit: His solo career spawned Broken Arrow, whose existence and subsequent performances by Phil Lesh allowed me to relieve myself at numerous Dead shows in 1994.

While I’m not so sure any of my friends listen to them, I cannot understand why Hot Chip keeps showing up in music periodicals that I otherwise respect. For the life of me, I cannot figure out why this crap is notable. The songs are all based around really lousy beats, which inevitably sound like they are sourced from super low budget drum machine. The only changes in the song structures are at best a dropout of the beat for 10 or 15 seconds or a little keyboard flutter, but there is nothing even remotely interesting compositionally . Finally, the videos are just stupid. What am I missing in this assault on the senses? Are you supposed to suck down hippie crack before enjoying this band?

[Photo by Jennifer Kirk]
When I received this topic for the ‘At the BBQ’ series, I laughed — a WHOLE lot. I laughed because the band that my friends love and I just don’t get, is also a band I’ve fluffed a little lately — Widespread Panic. My two best friends have seen Panic easily 250 times combined. I’ve seen them too, most every time they’ve played the Middle Tennessee region (Nashville, Murfreesboro, and Bonnaroo) and most recently, Rothbury.
But my misunderstanding with this band started over 10 years ago. I started obsessing over Phish and getting into the ‘scene’ by latching onto other acts such as moe. or the Ominous Seapods. So, I assumed, at my naive young age, that getting into Panic was supposed to be a natural transition. I purchased the Everyday and Widespread Panic (s/t) albums, gave them a few spins and nothing really happened for me. But, I had to give them another chance — perhaps it was the live experience where I’d get ‘it’ with them?
Fast forward a year or two later and I purchased Light Fuse Get Away when it was released and listened to it. My first impression? The Allman Brothers plus Geddy Lee on vocals. It didn’t really win me over, so the CDs went back on the shelf. When I moved to Nashville they came to town — Riverstages 2000. My brother was in town for the weekend to visit and see the Allman Brothers so this was the perfect opportunity to give them another chance. He saw the Dead, and we went to our first Phish show together in 1996, so it only seemed fitting that we’d see Panic for the first time together. Who knows, maybe I thought it would help. Good show, but I still didn’t get it.
The next year they played my university and it was ‘my show,’ as in the student leader in charge of booking and promoting events on campus. I worked 18 hours straight and didn’t get a chance to watch much but I remember the Jeff Coffin, Count Mbutu, and Roy Wooten sit-ins as being pretty good, and the kids were all dancing so it must have been a decent show. By this point in my life my musical tastes began to branch out to the non-jam world, with the exception of Bonnaroo (of course). And as I said, I’ve seen them most every time they came to town since then, but it was mostly just to have something to do and, you know, check out the headie lot scene. Through the years I’ve seen the three versions of Panic and the breakdown goes something like this:
Mikey Panic – 4 shows
George Panic – 3 shows
Jimmy Panic – 7 shows
Not that I could tell much difference, except the ‘deedle-deedle’ era of Panic was little on the lame side. In 2007, I saw them at ‘Roo and then the three night run at The Ryman (buying tickets for those shows made me realize how much I miss Phish mail order). And you know what? It was fun. It wasn’t epic, but they were solid rock shows. I enjoy their lyrics, massive amount of covers, and J.B. doesn’t always sound like that Canadian bass player.
So, at the detriment of being made fun of by all my music-loving friends I’ll finally come to terms with it and admit — I kind of like Panic — but please don’t tell the band (or my friends).

I don’t love Radiohead. I know, I know…this statement alone can get you killed if you mutter it to the wrong crowd, but I just don’t get a whole lot out of their music. I understand the talent level of the band – which is undeniable. And how they are able to reinvent themselves over and over again, despite every band on the face of the earth emulating them.
And I’ve never seen Radiohead live, which I’ve been told can border on a religious experience. But I’ve listened to plenty of Radiohead and the music just doesn’t do much for me. Thom Yorke, who looks a lot like Clay Aiken to me, mumbles and sputters his lyrics over layers and layers of electronica and slashing guitars. The Radiohead songs I like are the ones that strip away the machinery, and there just aren’t enough of them for my tastes. So, while I have plenty of respect for Radiohead, and certainly admire they way they have taken the music world by the balls the last few years (and show no signs of letting go), they remain a band in the “I just don’t get it” category for me.

Luke, you came in and swooped the band I planned on chastising right from under me, damn you. Good thing there are a handful of other “just don’t get” bands for me out there for the picking. Since I can’t go with my number one punching bag let’s go with another one that is high on the list – Ween. Yup, sorry folks, just because everyone’s favorite Vermont quartet put them onto jam fans collective radar with their cover of Roses Are Free that doesn’t mean I have to fully embrace them, or actually even tolerate them at all.
Gene and Dean might be carrying the Frank Zappa torch with their weird rock that pushes all sort of boundaries and touches on vast number of musical styles, but there just seems to be something missing in it for me. For every one song that I find remotely enjoyable there are about ten more that I find just annoying and unbearable to listen to. I’m all for bands trying to be quirky and weird for the sake of it, but to quote Nigel Tufnel there is a fine line between stupid and clever and for the most part their music falls into the former rather than the ladder.

I don’t think I’ve ever wanted to like a band as much as I want to like the Disco Biscuits. Many of my friends really dig ’em, I appreciate their selection of covers and they play plenty of shows close to the NYC area. Each year I try to see ’em live with an open mind, but after about two or three songs I just want to punch kittens. I attribute my distaste of tDB’s music to the repetitive grooves and lackluster vocals. Plus, none of their improvisations have made my ears perk up. It’s clear the Biscuits are incredibly talented, but I’m just not into it at all. More room for y’all to untz.
So, how about you? What bands out there do your friends rave about, but you just don’t get. Leave your Head Scratcher in the comment section…
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