Now, if you don’t happen to know anyone who works at a bar, or if you’re one of the millions of Americans who just can’t seem to put the bottle down, you can still save money by being a little spend-thrifty. Eschew the expensive Coronas, Sam Adams and Sierra Nevadas and instead grab a can of questionably delicious Porkslap Pale Ale, aka The Worst Beer You’ve Never Had. Rudy’s Bar & Grill in Hell’s Kitchen offers cans of this malty brew for a buck each, with the tagline “When quantity matters.”
But if drinking’s not your thing, either because of religious beliefs, family genetics, or a state-mandated electronic bracelet, fear not, there are other ways to save money. Just listen to this ingenious idea on upping your gas mileage, courtesy of Cadillac Sky:
But that’s not the only way to save money on gas. Did you know there’s a cheap, plastic gadget you can pick up for your car that can save you hundreds, possibly thousands on gas a year? All you need to find is a donor car, preferably one with an owner asleep or on vacation.
Some other helpful tips for conserving your hard earned moolah in today’s economy:
- Lost your job? Train in one of the fastest growing industries in America – locksmithing. Then use your new skill to break into people’s houses and steal their shit.
- Empty your IRA and 401K retirement plans, and invest in scratch-off lottery tickets. They’re less risky, and offer better payouts.
- Scared of a run on banks? Take all of your money out of your accounts and put it in a jar above your bed. If someone’s gonna steal your money, at least it should be someone who actually needs it.
- Where did your mom put all of those baseball cards you had when you were a kid? Hmm…
- Reuse garbage bags by emptying all of your trash into one giant container. If someone starts complaining about the smell of the thrice-used bags, say “Yeah it smells. It’s the fucking garbage, what do you expect?”