Editorial: That Time Then And Once Again

My love for Phish’s music was born during those three hours and over the course of 10 years, I fed it, watered it, and watched it grow into an obsession. I listened to Phish all the time. Nothing else. I air-
Trey’d around the apartment. I bought the shirts and scoured the internet for discussions about Phish. I horded tapes and eventually moved onto CDs. I threw out over 1,500 analogs when I moved to NYC and currently have so many shows on disc, I don’t even bother adding to the collection because there is always something new I can find to make me fall in love all over again. I missed family gatherings and spent every vacation day and dollar I had (and about $15,000 that I didn’t have and still owe Citibank) to see Phish.

My love for Phish took me to places I would never have gone on my own – Antioch, Tennesee in the brutal heat of summer; middle-of-nowhere George, Washington for the most tremendous views I have ever seen; Plattsburgh, NY to join 80,000 people that drove up having been promised only two days, three sets each. It didn’t matter where or how far it was or what I had to do to get there, as long as I was going to see Phish, it was worth it.

I met my wife at a Phish show. We didn’t hang out or get to know each at Great Woods that night in August, 2004, but the first time I laid my eyes on her, and vice-versa, was on the lawn in that beat up old venue in Mansfield, Mass.

I met two of my best friends in the world, guys who served as groomsmen at my wedding, through another friend who met them on a Phish message board. I have met countless people through similar
message boards, through tape/cd trading or at shows. The people that are most important to me in this world all have ties to and love for Phish. And to me, that was and always will be the true legacy of this band. Even at the end, when the music was shaky and inconsistent, the fun times rolled on and the relationships grew.

Towards the end, there were many different reasons people went to see Phish. The parties had replaced the playing on the priority list of many fans and let’s face it, the band too on some nights. When the drummer is yelling “let’s be a foursome…let’s be a quartet” as the guitarist is scolding the bassist for his late-night partying ways, something is wrong.

Then Coventry, a truly unjust disaster for fans and band alike, forced us all away from the Northeast Kingdom with a terrible taste in our mouths. For a long time I hoped deeply that Phish never played together again. The prospect for awfulness was just too much in the forefront and too fresh in my mind. I wanted it to be left alone. I had my 1,200 CDs and was content that it was a great run that had come to an end in an unfitting way and that was that.

As the last four years went by, it became more and more obvious that these guys weren’t done. Once Trey had sorted out his legal problems, and even before then to some extent, the quotes started moving more towards “it’s a matter of when, not if” territory and eventually, it became a foregone conclusion that it would happen.

So when the official announcement of Phish’s return came, there was very little shock for anyone paying attention over the last year. The fact that the band members are not doing interviews strikes me as a good sign. Fuck the good pub and press. Fuck the promotion. Just put some real energy and effort into practicing and go out there and kick some ass. Play your hearts out. As fans, that’s all we can ask.

I personally have mixed feelings about the reunion. A big part of me was disappointed that they decided to come back, but these reasons are selfish on my part. I’ve pretty much moved on from that “Phish-centered” point in my life in every way. My days of 16 shows in 18 days in 12 states are long behind me. And part of me also had hoped that the 20-year lightning in a bottle torpedo that was Phish was one of those things that was exclusive to those that were on board for Phish 1.0.

But on March 6 in Hampton, VA, the site of so many ups (1997, 1998) and a few downs (2003, 2004), our eyes will again shift to those four guys on stage and we’ll see if the magic is back. If it is, I think I will feel invigorated and young again. If it isn’t, I still plan to dance my ass off.