Ticketmaster Story: A Festicles Miracle

Immediately, I knew this guy was in need of somebody to talk to.  I feel like we connected for a reason.  I asked him what the problem was, and he began to vent about his personal life.  Within two minutes he said the word “Karma” and I knew right then and there I was in.

For the next 33 minutes we talked about God, Family, fucking up when you’re young, bouncing back as you get older.  We just talked about life.  In fact, at about 9:50 am, he asked for my email address because he wanted to keep in touch after we conducted business.  Half way through it I actually began to really like the guy.  At NO point did I mention Phish though.

So at about 9:56 he said “Festicles, I’d hate to cut you short, but we have a big sale about to go on and…”  And at that minute I asked if his friend who he mentioned was getting divorced had kids.  He said yes, two, and I proceeded to talk about how my parents divorced when I was three.  And for the next four minutes straight, I didn’t let him get a single word in.

At 9:59:30 I said “Ok Omar, It’s time to get down to business.  In 30 seconds Phish tickets are going on sale and you’re going to be my savior.”

The guy was SHOCKED.  He said “IS THAT WHY YOUR HAD ME ON THE LINE?”  I said “Yes, and I think you’re a great guy, and we’re going to continue to be friends, but in 10 seconds you have to get me two three-day packages for phish P-H-I-S-H at the Hampton Coliseum.  You have 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, Go for it.”

Omar responded “two three-day packages, Festicles your tickets are locked, I need your billing information.”  I had a hard time giving him my credit card number because I was straight up balling crying.  This guy had no idea how much he made my day.  He heard me crying on the phone and said “damn dude, you must really care about this” and I said “like nobody else.”

Omar is going to email me later tonight.  I’m going to get his address and send him a huge thank you package.  This is the best thing that’s happened to me in years.  Amen!

Even if you didn’t get tickets, you gotta smile at this epic story.

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13 Responses

  1. Just thought I’d chime in as a ‘Hater’. Don’t be bitter about not getting tix. The scalpers had this scoped out for weeks.

    MAYBE tix will be reasonable to get for this summer. Probably not. If it’s a beoch to get lawn seats for a random show in Mass, then you can be bitter.

    [Unless you actually live in Hampton, and there isn’t a local Phish concert nearby in the ensuing tour. If that’s the case, now is a fine time to be bitter.]

    Again, I’m just bummed that scalpers have turned this into such a clusterF*.

  2. I also got on the phone about 9:30 a.m. — 6:30 a.m. in Oregon where i live — and managed to keep myself in the system for half an hour by asking the automated “Bot” to keep repeating the information it just told me. Right at 10 a.m. (7 a.m.) I said yes to two, three-night ticket packages. Then, the system asked me for my billing information. I entered it but the system told me it was an invalid number. I tried it again with the same result. Mind you, this is a debit card I’ve had for months, used it online and offline with no problems whatsoever. Anyway, I entered the information a third time, and when the system said it was an invalid number it then hung up on me. I had two tickets to each night in my hand and lost them because of an f’ing computer!!!
    Come to find out on Monday, my bank put a freeze on my card, saying they thought it was stolen because someone was trying to buy tickets to a concert in another state where my card had never been used. So, the bank denied the transaction, saying they were looking out for my best interests.
    Needless to say, Monday afternoon I closed my account and opened a new one at another bank.
    They were in my hands!!!!!
    Ugh.

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