Busted On The Way To The Dead Show

About ten minutes later I see my brother talking to an undercover outside the van. He said, “I heard that my brother is in that van there and he has my tickets for the show.” “How do you know that?” grunted the cop. “I just heard.” he replied. After being identified by my brother, the cop reached into my pocket and pulled out the two tickets. The cop snickered, “Have fun because your brother certainly aint gonna have any tonight.” Looking directly at me, the cop asked one last time how my brother knew where I was. I replied, “He is a really savvy guy.”

I asked the police officer up front what was in store for us.  He replied, “A long night of processing and a Desk Appearance Ticket. You show up to court in a month and get a six month probation. You stay out of trouble and the charges will be dropped. This is what we police officers call ‘catch and release.’” With relief in my voice I elate “That’s it?!?” Despite being in a shitty situation it was a sigh of relief knowing my life wasn’t ruined.

After sitting in the back of the van for two hours we pulled away for the local precinct. At this point I can’t feel my left hand. The clock inside the precinct read nine o’clock as we were searched thoroughly. The seven men were penned in a cell and the girls were cuffed to the rail on a bench.

For the next three hours, they took our fingerprints and mug shots, which were sent to Albany to identify any warrants. Waiting for Albany to respond was unbearable. A couple of the prisoners asked for a copy of their rap sheet as a souvenir. One mentioned this was going to be his new facebook photo. Another was particularly pissed since he had been looking forward to the concert since he got laid off two months ago and could have paid some of his bills with the money from selling the tickets.

They started releasing us at two in the morning. The cops told a teenager that his mom was there and instructed him, “You look remorseful out there, she has been here for three hours and you show remorse or we are going to throw you back in here.” It cracked me up because the kid asked me if I was telling my parents and I said “No, that’s the luxury of being an adult.”

On my way out they gave me a piece of paper with the details about my court desk appearance. I went to a bar for a couple of beers before headed home. The bartender bought me a couple of beers out of pity. On the subway I fell asleep and woke up without my wallet. It was the icing on the cake and the salt in my wounds. Overall, I can say this was one of the worst days of my life but I am a wiser man for it.

I learned some valuable lessons that night.

• 1) Never smoke weed on a New York City street while headed to a concert or in the general vicinity of a concert. The police are now targeting venues like MSG, Roseland Ballroom, Terminal 5, Nokia Theater and Highline Ballroom for drinking and drug offenders.
• 2) Possession of small amounts of marijuana in New York is decriminalized as long as you aren’t selling, and you don’t have a prior record.
• 3) Always eat your roach if you’re getting in trouble. It may save your night.
• 4) Don’t fall a sleep on the subway with your wallet in your jacket pocket.

Thank you for reading my story. It’s no backseat ridiculousness with Vermont State Troopers but it was my own experience. If this prevents one of you reading from getting caught like me then I consider this story a success. If not, I would like to quote George W. Bush “Fool me once, shame on, shame on you. You fool me you can’t get fooled again.”

Regards,

-Alan Silver