There’s no way to know what’s next when you lose a loved one. The most important, but also most challenging, thing you can do is keep on living. For Austin by way of Illinois singer/songwriter Lizzy Lehman and her surviving bandmates in lo-fi indie-pop quintet Carry Illinois, that also meant finding the will to write and record after original bassist John Winsor took his own life in March 2016. As Lizzy’s lyrics to future album closer “Goodnight” laid bare, she and everyone in Carry Illinois were grieving and left asking, “Why is it so hard to restart? Why is it so hard to put the parts back together?”
By November, she and guitarist Darwin Smith, drummer Rudy Villarreal, keyboardist Derek Morris*, and new bassist Andrew Pressman were ready to confront those unanswerable questions by joining forces with reputed musician/producer John Vanderslice to record the six-song Garage Sale, their first proper follow-up to 2015’s Alabaster. The end result evolved into, as Lehman puts it, a meditation on mourning and recovery.
“There was a break of a couple of months where I was pretty paralyzed by his loss,” Lehman shares of the days and weeks following Winsor’s suicide. So when she started putting pen to paper again, “It was the subject matter that came up naturally.” That’s evident from the confessional first verse of the opening title track, as Lehman communicates to and through Winsor, her quaking-but-not-breaking alto longing to “bring you everywhere I go/Your force electrical no sound.”
But her words remain open to interpretation, consistent with Lehman’s view of lyrics as poetry, and of music as the ultimate platform for shared meaning. “I used to do a lot of fictionalized writing, and then I took some songwriting workshops about using songwriting as truth-telling,” she recalls. “That flipped the switch, and I was like, ‘Oh, it’s really important to write about what you know and the things you see.’ That’s the stuff that people really connect to, and that was when I realized what songwriting for me was about.”
Glide is proud to premiere “Runaway” (below) from their next EP Work in Progress, a soulful confessional indie anthem that speaks to all of those living a life crippled by fears. With its washy 80’s synth, syncopated beats, and spot-on arrangements, Carry Illinois incorporates elements from rock’s most emotional facets, while claiming its own victorious voice. While most artists refuse to shed an ounce of their “cool” to reveal personal struggles, Carry Illinois serves as a voice and musical vehicle for all that grapple with anxiety and tragedy to revel in.
“Runaway” is about my life-long struggle with my body, how I view it, how I feel in it, and how I have always hated it,” describes Lehman. “After our bass player John Winsor committed suicide in March of 2016, I decided that I no longer needed to shy away from the real struggles that I face. I decided that writing about it, singing about it, and performing with utmost strength and courage is what I need to do.”
“In the past, I have been scared to talk about the things in my life that were painful and anxiety-producing, but I no longer want to wear this mask of fear,” continues Lehman. “The song is ultimately about facing my fears, my demons, my truths, and painful memories in order to move forward, grow stronger, and connect to others who have dealt with similar trials and tribulations in their lives. I want to love myself and I know that I deserve to feel good about who I am. This song is for all of you.”
Glide had the chance to speak further with Lehman about the new album and working with Vanderslice…
Carry Illinois has certainly had its share of ups and downs over the years, how have you maintained the spirit to go on?
Throughout the years I have dealt with the death of a bandmate/close friend, band members moving away/joining other bands, and a band member quitting due to personal/family reasons. I have maintained the spirit to go on because I can’t stop writing songs and singing. I also believe that my lyrics resonate with the broader community and I want to keep providing my experience with others so that they can cope with the tough parts of life and come out better and brighter.
The song we are premiering “Runaway” is as vulnerable a track as anyone can write as you deal with self-image struggles. How did you decide to pen and perform a song about these not so much talked about issues vs going for the expected?
I decided to write “Runaway” instead of writing a typical song because I can no longer write about what I do not know; I have to pen songs that are as honest as possible. I find it extremely important to write and sing about my true life experiences in order to process them. For a long time, I used to make up songs and then I took a songwriting class at Artichoke Music in Portland, OR called “Songwriting As Truth-Telling.” This class changed everything for me in regards to how I viewed music, songwriting, and the role of the songwriter in general. If you don’t write what you know, then are you really being your authentic self?
For someone new to Carry Illinois what are most of your songs about and what stem of musical influences do they grab from?
Most of my songs are about self-image, loss, friendships, the working intimate relationship, doubts, fears, hopes, and my past experiences with bullying. I grab inspiration and influence from incredible artists like Brandi Carlile, Sarah Siskind, Carole King, Lizzo, and many more. All of these musicians put it all out there and take risks. I have discovered that I am into taking risks now because there is no reason not to.
What most people wonder about the band is your unique band name- how did it come about?
I am from Illinois, thus the second half of the band name. When I was 5 or 6 my family’s company had a picnic at summer camp in Cary, Illinois. At this picnic I sang in front of people for the first time. I did karaoke to Bette Midler’s “Wind Beneath My Wings.” I took that experience and changed Cary into Carry so that I never forget to keep my roots with me no matter how conflicted I may feel about them. My life in Illinois is undeniably part of who I am and I have come to terms with that.
You worked with John Vanderslice on Garage Sale– what was that experience link and what did you learn from? Any other producers in mind you’d like to work with?
Working with John Vanderslice was incredible! I have admired both his music and his production style for a long time and was honored to have the chance to work with him. The experience was much different than my previous recording sessions. John does everything to 2-inch tape, works at a very quick pace, and lets you know when it’s time to move on instead of doing countless takes. He also curated the coffee making, had an incredible selection of San Francisco teas, and planned out incredible meals for us each day. The biggest lesson I took away from working with John was to trust. I learned to be more ok with imperfections and to trust the ears of the expert. Tiny Telephone is one of the most beautiful studios I have had the chance to work in.
If you can curate your own festival name five bands you’d have on board?
This is a hard one! There are so many amazing artists in the world! If I had the chance to curate my own festival, five artists I would invite would be Lizzo, Brandi Carlile, Beyoncé, Sylvan Esso, and Lucius.
Band links:
https://carryillinoisband.com/
https://www.facebook.com/carryillinois
https://twitter.com/carryillinois
https://www.instagram.com/carryillinois/
