Almost everyone missed a superb story in Wednesday’s edition of the Detroit Free Press, a tale of corruption in law enforcement and the inherent evils of police power. But I don’t care to tackle that difficult subject.
Flipping the Caesarian script, I come to praise Office Edward Sanchez, not to bury him. The 28-year-old Detroit cop arrested a suspect in April of last year, confiscated the suspect’s marijuana, kept it for himself, baked it in some brownies with his wife, flipped the fuck out, called 911, and then was allowed to resign gracefully and quietly from the force. Now that is an officially fully.
A year later, two days ago to be exact, the Free Press ran the 911 call from Officer Sanchez, and it’s…well, it’s fucking awesome. The husband and wife team claims to be overdosing on some pot brownies, and you can tell it’s taking every ounce of strength for the dispatcher not to break out in laughter at these n00bs.
About a minute in, Sanchez says “We made brownies and I think we’re dead, I really do.” At another point he complains that time is moving really, really, really slow. But the call is five minutes of pure bliss, and I urge you all to head over to the DFP and check it out now. You just can’t write stuff this great.