The B List: Top 10 Reasons We’ll Miss SCI

7. Smelling guitarist Bill Nershi‘s bare feet when we ride the rail, brah

6. The phrases they’ve added to our vocabulary: Kangfirmed and Nersh’d

5. The headiest jam names in the scene — where will we go to see Inspiration Jam, Initiation Jam, Expression Jam, Evolution Jam and Synergy Jam?

4. Hula Hoops, motherfuckers!


3. Who else is gonna be a punching bag for an entire scene?

2. Did we mention Kang’s fashion sense?

1. And as our friend BG points out: Being reminded that we should thank God every single fucking day that we’ve never seen the gay porno that undoubtedly spawned the name String Cheese Incident

Thanks to the good people over at Team HLA for their help with this one. Thankfully we won’t have to wait long for these guys to throw out more mediocre music and horrible band names: Honkytonk Homeslice, Zilla, Eoto, and Elastic Mystic will keep the dream alive. We’ll see ya when you run out of money…

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0 Responses

  1. If you went and saw them ACE, my case would have been closed…. Until the reunion tour… Peace and Love

  2. Number #1 = Hilarious!

    I don’t know SCI very well, but that Youtube video sounds like Trey is sitting in on guitar…OR somebody (who plays guitar for SCI) learned everything they know about guitar from Trey. It’s one thing to be derivative, but COME ON!

  3. “I don’t know SCI very well, but that Youtube video sounds like Trey is sitting in on guitar…OR somebody (who plays guitar for SCI) learned everything they know about guitar from Trey. It’s one thing to be derivative, but COME ON!”

    That’s Kang for you: “If I turn the knob this way it sounds like Jerry, but if I turn it this way, it sounds like Trey!”

  4. “lame article. now that hating on cheese is the new black, everyone does it. go f yourselves.”

    “NOW” would mean that this is a new phenomenon, but in reality, peeps have been hating on cheese since day one.

    “:thanks god for umphrey’s mcgee:”

    funny read. thanks B list

  5. Ahh I remember those halcyon days running around in my crusty Birks listening to the sounds of the hippie masses screaming “Play ‘Round the wheel’ brother” ..then I grew up and realized that there was a reason that there was the word cheese in their band name. Now that they enter their Rolling Stone esque 17th farewell tour I know in my heart of hearts that somewhere out there a hippie neophyte wont have to wait to see the cheese until november or december of this year.

  6. While I respect SCI for their 14 years and very good business sense, I could not get into the band simply because they sounded WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAY too much like Phish! If I want Phish, I’ll listen *to* Phish.

    At least Bill Nershi will do himself a service playing with Drew Emmitt, a major upgrade in mandolinists.

  7. I am totally disgusted by this article and might never read Glide again. What a load of crap! Isnt there any other bands you can base on? Tens of Thousands of happy fans for the past 14 years and all you can do is rip apart some superficial themes? Grow the Frig UP!

  8. Funny stuff. Actually 10 reasons isn’t enough.

    11. Fans that won’t stop talking because if they shut up and listened to the music they would realize how soulless it is.

    12. Realizing that the only good SCI songs are covers.

    13. Nershi’s spectacularly mediocre guitar playing.

  9. Apparently, SCI/MadHouse never bought ad space from Glide Magazine – and don’t imagine they ever will.

  10. Hooooo, snap, yo! Sorry, you must’ve confused us with the Everyone’s Gotta Say Nice Things At All Times blog, sponsored in part by Peace Love Dope. Godfuckingdamn.

    We actually love the good people at Madison House, and if I ever met the SCI gang I’d tell ’em job well done. They entertained a generation of hula hippies for a long time, and that is commendable. But if you expect us to hold our tongues when there is ripe parody on the loose, you’re in the wrong place.

  11. wow…even from this long time SCI fan I knew it was just a friendly ribbing. You young hippies need to relax…its the internets for gawd sakes

  12. Thank god for “Railroad Earth” This is the band to go on tour with. Don’t knock it un till you have tried it. There is a reason that every musican out there wants to sit in with them or have them sit in with thier bands

  13. I’m a long time fan of Cheese and find most of this hilariously clever, though they seemed to run out of ideas before it was over. The fact that they’re famous (successful) enough to be lampooned says a lot in itself.

    #3 is true of every band. Who isn’t a punching bag for a large portion of an entire scene? The more people LOVE a band, the more everyone else gets a kick out of slamming them.

    For example, as a Deadhead I can laugh when I say:

    The Grateful Dead: The Special Olympics of Rock and Roll.


    Now, should I listen to a great Rivertrance or a great Shakedown? Hmmm….

  14. I will never forget my first Incident and all the wonderful magic surrounding it. Sad to see them go but you can be sure I will be there at any side project to come on my stick pony.
    It was a great ride hugs to all I shared it with.

  15. The first night I ever donned my fairy wings will always hold a special place in my heart. As I twirled all around, I felt like I was actually floating on the notes coming from Kang’s magical musical abilities. And their cover of Zepplin’s Kashmir is Rock n’ roll at its finest.

    Group hugs all around.

  16. Kang, brother, I will forever miss your sexy attire. I have often fallen asleep in my bed while dreaming of your physique. As one of the most sexy players on the scene today, you will be missed by many

  17. top 10 reasons i will miss glide magazine:

    10. gets all their jokes from threads on
    9. wait, glide magazine is worse than relix, i won’t miss it

  18. haha yah kang must be gay cuz he didnt wear a fucking dress all the time HAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

    OK blog. B- for effort, D for the tired jokes. Yah!

  19. “But if you expect us to hold our tongues when there is ripe parody on the loose, you’re in the wrong place.”

    For the right place, why don’t you bury your glitter face back in the pages of Relix, where you will never find a bad review of a terrible band.

  20. Moving out of Boulder was a sad sad day, but nothing makes me happier than knowing I missed the String Cheese years. It’s like if you stripped away the good musicianship of Leftover Salmon and replaced it with the bad cliches of Phish.

  21. Hey fuck this article! Mediocre??? and who cares about band names? was one of the best live bands around.

  22. I can’t believe how stupid and ignorant this article and some of you people are.

    I am a musician, and from a musicianship standpoint, firstly, SCI is phenomenal. Their chemistry is through the roof, they love what they do and the energy at their shows is indescribable. Those that are hating/have hated on SCI are reacting to the music strictly from an egotistical mind state. They aren’t willing to give it a chance because of how upbeat and positive the message is, I mean let’s face it there is light and dark in the world. Keep building walls around yourself, and you’ll keep missing amazing experiences such as an “Incident”. Some of the purest moments of my human existence happened in front of that band.

    Phish can keep the garbage scene of haters.

  23. this is an awful article, but free speech is free speech. You can keep your negativity and I’ll keep all of the memories and times cheese has given me. In the end I know which of us will come out ahead. Cheeseheads do not be discouraged! 2010 tour? kangfirmed 😉

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