‘The Walking Dead’ Ends A Ridiculous Season With A Ridiculous Finale (TV REVIEW)

[rating=3.00] “The First Day of the Rest of Your Life”

It’s fitting that a season that started with a long overdue answer to a ridiculous cliffhanger, then trod through one ridiculous subplot after another would end on an equally unsatisfying note. A major betrayal was revealed, with others still up in the air, all culminated into one of the sloppiest and flat-out unwatchable gun fights put on the small screen.

Before digging in, let’s quick recap what led us here, shall we?

Bury Me Here: After a misguided attempt to martyr himself and rally Ezekiel (Khary Payton) to war, Richard (Karl Makinen) shorts The Saviors a cantaloupe as part of their payment. Obviously needing to squash any sloppiness and/or growing dissent among The Kingdom, The Saviors shoot Benjamin (Logan Miller) in the leg, who (despite the multitude of gunshot wounds that these characters have managed to walk off), he dies. Then, in an even more baffling turn of events, The Saviors (or at least, this particular squad) shows remorse over the matter. Oh, and Morgan (Lennie James) goes crazy, beats Richard to death, both of which are almost immediately shrugged off and haven’t been brought up since. Okay, then.

The Other Side: AKA, how Sasha (Sonequa Martin) and Rosita (Christian Serratos) get their groove back. Despite some petty squabbling, we do get an interesting tidbit to Rosita’s backstory. Sasha then storms the gates of The Sanctuary, telling Rosita to go back to Alexandria.

Something They Need: Rick and company storm into the Oceanside community, thanks to Tara (Alanna Masterson) who’s willing to go back on her promise for the chance at scoring some weapons for their upcoming coup against The Saviors. The Oceanside is understandably upset, but Rick (Andrew Lincoln) makes off with the guns anyway, but not before a carnival-style shootout with a tumbling horde of zombies.

Which brings us to the finale, where Rick and company are ready to ambush Negan (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) and the rest of the Saviors he’s bringing to Alexandria to, once again, assert his authority. This time, he’s got Sasha packaged in a coffin, which was supposed to be some kind of surprise/negotiating technique that was never really explained. But one that will undoubtedly come up next season.

It turns out, Rick was a little short-sighted when it comes to trusting a bunch of riddle-talking junkyard dwellers who dress like they’re members of Arcade Fire, and as they surround the gates of Alexandria, as their leader, Jadis (Pollyanna McIntosh) has her people turn their guns on their new allies, revealing that they were secretly in cahoots with Negan the entire time.

I mean, sure, it’s a twist, but one that seems way too convoluted, especially considering the fact that the show left Gregory (Xander Berkeley) wandering in between The Hilltop and The Sanctuary a couple episodes back — assuming he survives, since he couldn’t handle a single zombie when trying to secretly kill Maggie (Lauren Cohan).

Anyway, since Sasha ate the suicide pill gifted to her by Eugene (Josh McDermitt), by the time Negan opens up the coffin, she’s already turned (she’s also the lone appearance of the undead in this entire way-too-long episode). After she attacks Negan, she’s pulled off by another Savior, who proves to be about as capable as dealing with this as Gregory, and has his face literally bitten off.

This leads to the first gunfight, where the Alexandrians try to take the upper hand, which fails. One of the Junkyard members opens the gates, and Negan’s all set to repeat the event that started off this season (and ended the one prior), only this time, he promises to kill Carl (Chandler Riggs) and take both his hands. But not before Rick has to do a walk of shame past the bodies of a few redshirts that (I assume) are there to evoke an emotional response.

And, just when literally no one thinks this is about to happen, Shiva, Ezekiel’s fucking CG tiger leaps into the frame, taking down a Savior. Predictable or not, it would’ve been an alright moment where the tides turn if we didn’t have to listen to the Community Theater King’s idiotic proclamation mid-gunfight.

Not to let one coincidence go to waste, The Hilltop arrives at the same time, and suddenly the tide has turned. At least, one can assume it has, since the filming of the gunfight was nothing more than a jumbled, smoke-filled mess, with no real way to grasp what was going on, or even who was shooting at who.

Through all this, Negan manages to escape unscathed, and every cast member billed in the opening credits lives to tell the tale (except Sasha, obviously). “We’re going to war!” he proclaims to a band of Saviors gathered ’round, flanked by one guy who he thinks betrayed him, and another who is actively trying to betray him.

Meanwhile, Rick, Ezekiel, and Maggie (now the default leader of The Hilltop) rally their troops for the upcoming skirmish, with a long-winded speech by Maggie praising  Glenn (Stephen Yeun) for his bravery, and how she just “followed his lead.” All this while holding the stopwatch that was given to him by her father. A little hammy, yes, but a much more fitting tribute than repeat flashbacks of Abraham being told all about a dream Sasha had prior to their first encounter with Negan.

If season eight is going to give us “All Out War,” hopefully they tighten up the gunfight cinematography, otherwise it’s going to be one long season trying to figure out who’s shooting at what.

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