Weezer’s Surprise Release ‘The Teal Album’ Covers All the Wrong Bases (ALBUM REVIEW)

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Late last year, thanks to an internet joke that gathered steam, Weezer released a note for note cover of Toto’s inexplicably still popular “Africa,” to the thundering cheers of Twitter. In a way it was perfect. Weezer front man Rivers Cuomo has long been obsessed with finding the formula for “the perfect pop song,” and at one point went so far as to claim he found it—which resulted in everything Weezer has released from The Green Album forward.

“Africa” certainly fits the bill for pop perfection—it’s utter nonsense set to a solid beat with big notes and crescendos. It doesn’t matter who performs it; if it’s performed note for note, the effect is largely the same. You can’t help but shut off your brain and smile, lulled into a state of semi-consciousness as you nod along. Which works as kind of a metaphor for Weezer’s trajectory post-Pinkerton.

What happened to Weezer—if, indeed, anything happened to them, depending on your perspective—is a subject that has long been debated, with consensus being profoundly out of reach. The older you are—those who grew up with Blue and Pinkerton—the more dismayed you might be by Weezer today. The simple musical structure of those first two records belied the complex emotionalism and themes Cuomo mined. Every progressive release has abandoned latent complexity for catchy meaninglessness. Which brings us to The Teal Album.

The surprise release of their latest album, a collection of covers, seems to punctuate everything that’s wrong with what Weezer has become. It’s thoughtless, if superficially fun, and could be anyone. Building off the joke that led to “Africa,” Weezer has assembled a collection of pop songs performed note for note, adding nothing of value or particular interest outside kitsch.

It’s hard to hate any particular part of the album. As a collection of songs, it’s pretty solid. Cuomo and company cover hits like “Everybody Wants to Rule the World,” “Take on Me,” “Happy Together,” and “No Scrubs”—which would make kind of a banging anytime playlist to throw on for background music or to appease a large crowd with diverse tastes—but the execution is baffling and soulless.

Weezer adds nothing to any of the songs collected on Teal, resulting in a mix that might as well be a particularly well produced demo for an admittedly super-tight wedding band. Maybe that’s the point? Maybe this is an effort to ensure that Cuomo ascends into pop oneness, transcending the physical realm into an ethereal plane where pop culture originates? Maybe it’s a joke taken too far?

Or maybe it’s just Weezer. That might be the problem with trying to analyze Weezer on any analytical level. Cuomo almost naturally defies meaningful analysis. No amount of critical disdain can keep “Hash Pipe” or “Beverly Hills” off the radio. No amount of jaded cynicism can be louder than the cheers and laughter at the release of “Africa.” I can scream all day about the sheer fucking perfection of Pinkerton and shake my head at my perceived “decline” of Weezer, but it doesn’t matter. Pop, by its nature, is ephemeral. Perhaps it makes sense, then, that Weezer has spent the bulk of their career producing ephemera.

Teal is certainly that. The lifelessness of the covers ensures that it has a shelf life that isn’t much longer than your average meme. I suppose given the origins of the album as a Twitter meme it makes sense. Everything about the album—from its conception to its surprise, digital only release—points to the fact that we aren’t meant to take it that seriously. But that’s kind of the problem, isn’t? Nothing Weezer does can be taken seriously anymore. The Teal Album, if nothing else, proves that in droves. Hopefully the forthcoming Black Album, set for release on March 1, will prove me wrong.

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