Ace Cowboy

Anyone else think today’s initial artist announcement containing the lengthy list of 1,000 acts that’ll perform at the March 14-18 SXSW festival in Austin serves more as blatant comedic fodder than it does to build excitement?

I’m not taking anything away from the lineup by any means, it’s just that one quick glimpse of the roster…shit, the list has four bands from three different countries with names based on the word Panda, there’s Child Abuse, Dead Child and Children Collide, Psychedelic Horseshit, Holy Fuck and Holy Shit!, Lesbians on Ecstasy, and my personal favorite, This Moment in Black History.

What? SXSW couldn’t snare Womb Raider, Third Hand Smoke, Stabbing Monica Seles, Schlongstein & the Well-Hung Jews, or Pontius Pilate & the Nail-Driving Five? You know, a snarky music blogger could probably trek down to the Tejas capital, eschew the recognizable names, see only bands with clever monikers like those above and come away with the absolute best review of the festival. Hmm.

A bit more seriously, the list of performers is as impressive as it is long. It’s gonna be a helluva week down in Austin, 60 stages of every genre imaginable. Read on for the complete list of bands in today’s initial artist announcement…

The most talked about event in New York City last night involved Andy Samberg joining Justin Timberlake on the Madison Square Garden stage for a live rendition of the duo’s

It’s been a long time comin’, but the Superfly folks just posted three videos of Oysterhead’s performance from the Bonnaroo festival on its 2007 website. Rubberneck Lions, Shadow of a Man, and

If like really doesn’t attract like, oft-disgruntled NBA forward and aspiring rap star Ron Artest must be awfully pissed about String Cheese Incident’s retirement. After a neighbor blew the whistle on the h3tty Sacramento Kings star, Artest is now under criminal investigation on suspicion of animal cruelty:

A notice from animal control posted at the front of Artest’s Loomis home indicated he is under investigation for failing to feed and nourish the dog.

Neighbors said the dog is often left alone in the yard for months at a time without food and water. They said animal control has taken custody of his dogs on at least three other occasions.

Our friend Chilly Jackwater alerted us to this astonishing ::malnourishes dog:: development, and he recently also overheard Artest complaining that “The Bomb Factory is over-fuckin’-rated, man. You heard??? OVER-RATED. I’ll take anything from December ’95 over that bunk shit any fuckin’ day, puh-leez.” No word on whether Ronnie loves Punch You in the Eye above all other Phish tunes.

You ask me, I think Artest’s doctors been slinging him bunk meds for years…

Of all the incredible acts at the upcoming Langerado festival, I’m most excited to see Soul Sister #1 Sharon Jones and her Dap-Kings backing band for the first time. Hey,

New Yorkers now have a full slate of options on St. Patrick’s Day: Either drink ’til you shit at one of the city’s suddenly green bars, hit up Bustle In Your Hedgerow at Mexicali

The lovely SuperDee reminds us that The Slip played Children of December on Conan O’Brien’s show last night, a big step in the natural progression of any band: [youtube]-hFE5izTGeQ[/youtube] Between

I’m gonna be a little mean again, like the time I made fun of the girl that looked like Ron Jeremy in that picture with Trey and the two blonde

Just when you thought there was no way to become more addicted to guitar-controlled video games, Destructoid is reporting a hip new rumor about Red Octane’s ingenious plans to attack to

Nobody symobolizes the testosterone-laced force and all-out aggression of football quite like Prince. But, seriously, what the man lacks in masculine facial hair and body type, he more than makes up for with sheer