Chilly Jackwater

Phish Tales: The Braphecy Is Nigh

Why are Taddy Porter futures going through the roof? Why was “bunk molly recipe” the third-most Googled term yesterday (behind Lauren Conrad and Kim Kardashian, of course)? And why can’t

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Pullin’ ‘Tubes: Re Are The Rorld

I always viewed We Are the World as America’s crappier, soft batch answer to the UK’s far more awesomer and – let’s face facts here, people – BETTER famine-ending tune,

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Fun With Graphs: Places I’d Rather Be

Here’s our latest GraphJam parody entitled Places I’d Rather Be: Grateful Dead: Tennessee Jed (Live In Eugene – 1984) GraphJam: Drunk In MSPaint Previously on HT: Taxman, The Coal Ran

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Fun With Graphs: Big Red’s Issues

We had so much fun yesterday with our relixification of the graphjam, that we took another stab. Here’s a comprehensive study of Trey Anastasio’s problems: Phish: Down With Disease (promotional

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Fun With Graphs: The Wheel Is Turning

Over the past few weeks we’ve been blown away with some of the hilarious graphs the folks over at Graphjam have been coming up with. For instance check out the

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Top Bunk: Live Nation’s Next Move – Making Bands Pay For Tickets To Their Own Shows?

When news surfaced of Live Nation’s ban on tailgating for some concerts at NJ’s PNC Bank Arts Center we thought we’d ask our resident cynical-curmudgeon Chilly Jackwater to weigh on in the issue, with what we hope will be more then a one-shot. So after months as a HT commenter, here’s Chilly:

[photo via]

In the wake of news that Live Nation will crack down hard on tailgating at O.A.R., 311, and John Mayer shows this summer, we’ve come up with a few MORE ways that they could alienate their customers:

1. Banning residents of Chelsea from attending Madonna concerts
2. Prohibiting Hawaiian shirts at Jimmy Buffet shows
3. Announcing that Poison cannot play Every Rose Has Its Thorn this summer
4. Banning horn-rimmed glasses and facial hair at Arcade Fire shows
5. Prohibiting any use of cell phone cameras at Animal Collective concerts
6. Making the age limit at Umphrey’s McGee shows 30+
7. Making the age limit at Rolling Stones shows 20-
8. Enforcing a “Smooth Jazz Performances Only” edict at McCarren Pool

Here’s a tip for any of you who work in big business in ANY industry: At this point in time, following the example of record labels and the RIAA – which is EXACTLY what Live Nation is doing – is not exactly the recipe for success. Essentially Live Nation is taking away tailgating, a major aspect of the summer show-going experience, from a humongous group of customers who kinda sorta like that stuff: College-aged fans.

READ ON for more of Chilly’s warm feelings for Live Nation…

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