2009

Music lovers are inherently prone to making lists. We do it all the time. Our mental instincts tell us to compare frequently. Learn which is better, rank whatever is on your mind in comparison to the last time you had a similar experience. Be the judge, it’s your opinion, after all, so it cannot be incorrect. Sports fans are of a similar ilk, albeit more obvious and statistic driven. List makers, the lot of them.

Ask a music lover to name three guitar players with real talent and you will get back as many answers as you think you will. Depending on the genre that happens to be their favorite, you may hear answers as diverse as Jimi Hendrix or Carlos Santana to B.B. King or Chuck Berry. Satriani, Clapton, Page. Trey, Muddy, Warren. First name, last name, it makes no difference. Everybody has their favorite player in each genre. So let’s narrow the playing field, shall we?

Ask the same music lover to name three jazz guitarists with the most talent still making music and you’re fishing in a much shallower pool. Pat Metheney belongs on the list, that’s a given. A very strong case could be made for Bill Frisell to be sure. Al Dimeola, Robben Ford, Les Paul, where do you start?

I’ll tell you where you start: John Scofield. Note for note, Scofield has been atop that list for decades. An imaginative composer and innovative improviser, his legacy has continued to build with each new release; 33 of them since 1977. And that’s just as the main artist. He has collaborated on more cuts than I care to count and made every one of them a better song in the process.

READ ON for AJ’s review of John Scofield at the Portland Jazz Fest…

When it comes to God Street Wine, I’ve had the same favorite song since I first heard Bag in 1993 – Goodnight Gretchen. The combination of Lo Faber’s lyrics, Aaron

In a totally objective and almost too close to call race, Phish fans placed second in Spike TV’s assessment of the worst fans in all of music just behind fans of Screwdriver, a white supremacy themed punk band from the U.K. in the ’70s. Normally, I would probably take offense to such ridiculous claims (while quietly wondering if we wholeheartedly agree), but I’m pretty sure this guy’s balls are hanging out of his gym shorts and he is holding a ventriloquist doll, so i’ll just shake it off and just piggy back off his idea.

So, instead of letting loose with a defensive Phish tirade, let’s take a look at more crappy fanbases in music. To up the stakes a bit (and refrain from a pointless list about Clay Aiken), i’ll stick to music I actually quite like, but do not always share the same affection for the other concert goers.

Dave Matthews Band – Let’s just get this one out in the open real quick and move on. Dave Matthews’ fans suck the joy out of otherwise good music like a pack of Dementers. And no, Harry Potter references do not detract from our credibility in evaluating the tolerability of music fans. Drunk meatheads, incessant clapping, high school girls and loud yapping are simply not my idea of a good time.

String Cheese Incident – Here’s another one that pains me a bit to throw under the bus, but ever since I met this feller in Denver who told me verbatim, “You don’t know the first thing about the space funk. Why don’t you go back to Michigan you cow f*cker? String Cheese rules the space funk,” I’ve been a little salty on the fan base. Plus, I do not like screaming, be it group or otherwise.

READ ON for more of Ryan’s least favorite fanbases including REM…