[rating=7.00] “Home”
After a season premiere that did nothing but tread water for the better part of an hour, Game of Thrones seems to have leaped back into action with the second episode of the show’s sixth season. While last night certainly brought out its share of shocking twists, it also had a certain out-of-place sentimentality littered throughout. It’d be easy to ascribe such an addition as some kind of atonement for the show’s smug, vile fifth season, if this episode didn’t include multiple instances of graphic violence, two of which came close to resembling slapstick. While another will rank as one of the biggest think-piece spawning moments, and certainly one of the most upsetting.
“My father never talks about her.”
While Bran Stark sat out the entirety of last season, he’s back, and deep amidst his training with the Three-Eyed Raven, which includes trips back to Winterfell’s past. He watches his father, Eddard, as a young boy training with his brother, Benjen, while their sister, Bran’s long-dead aunt Lyanna, comes galloping in. Bran more than states the obvious when he notes how happy everyone inside the castle appears, Winterfell’s past in glorious, rose-colored visions. With Bran and the Raven standing where Eddard and Catelyn stood in the show’s first episode, watching their children train, it was more than a little heavy-handed — a deliberate reminder of the show’s perhaps only carefree moment when we first meet House Stark.
It also sets the stage for more flashbacks to come, including the long-awaited reveal at the Tower of Joy, which may finally shed some light on the lineage of Jon Snow (more on The North’s favorite know-nothing bastard coming below).
“I’m not much of a fighter. Apologies for what you’re about to see.”
Ser Davos and a handful of the Night’s Watch still guard Jon Snow’s body, and as Alisair Thorne begins to break his way inside while we’re spoonfed a reminder that his offer of amnesty last week was completely false. What looks to be an absolute certain last stand is interrupted just in the nick of time when Edd shows up with a huge pack of Wildlings, including a certain giant we were all hoping would show up.
The Night’s Watch, already on the last of its last legs, is quick to surrender, but not before one ambitious bowman lets an arrow loose, giving us our first obnoxiously slapstick death of the night (reminder: there is one more coming). Now with Alisair and Olly put into chains, it looks as though the Wildlings may be in line to take over Castle Black, because that undead army led by The Night’s King is still on their way.
“Everyone of us is poor and powerless, but together we can overthrow an empire.”
I have to admit, after I felt a little short-changed by the entire sequence at King’s Landing this week, I started this really low-grade self-evaluation of what I expect from a show like this. On one hand, we have Cersei displaying considerable restraint, cautious over the prophecy — and of the nature of what it means to wield power as a Lannister, despite having a seemingly unstoppable FrankenMountain by her side. Rather than set him loose against Tommen’s guard, however, she sends him through the streets to silence any random heckler regaling drunks with stories of her walk of shame. (This is also the second death bordering on slapstick).
Then, back in the temple, as Tommen and Jamie mourn over the body of Myrcella, in strolls the High Sparrow, gleefully boasting his power while hiding it behind a false piousness. It’s here we see the first glimpses of a truly arrogant Jamie Lannister, one we haven’t seen since he lost his hand to Locke back in season three. It doesn’t last long, as members of The Faith Militant start creeping out of the shadows quite conveniently. I mean, seriously, were they just waiting there the whole time?
This leaves us with a Jamie not only outnumbered, but out boasted as well, and he sheaths his sword, doing frustratingly little to help advance this entire religious takeover subplot.
“The next time I have an idea like that, punch me in the face.”
Even as recently as last week I was praising the idea of Tyrion and Varys again united as a pair of smug, quibbling rulers foppishly trying to reign in control of Mereen in the absence of Daenerys, whose entire storyline was benched this episode. Suddenly, I find myself confused at the brash and poorly worded dialogue between them, starting with Tyrion’s remark about not having a dick to Varys’ dry and surprisingly rudimentary reply about his lack of dwarf jokes.
This continues down beneath the pyramid, when Tyrion ends up showing off his inner dragon-whisperer and unchains the two that remain in the catacombs, and lives to tell the tale. Granted, Tyrion spent a great deal of time readying King’s Landing from Stannis Baratheon’s attack near the end of season two, so he’s bound to have gained some knowledge about the behavior of dragons in that time.
Still, that doesn’t excuse it from being the hokiest cornball moment, coupled with his story of himself as an emotionally sensitive young boy and his heartless father, Tywin. It’s not even the biggest insult that we haven’t been told why, exactly, unchaining the dragons is a good idea, it’s this blunt, prosaic line Tyrion gives to Varys at the end. Go ahead, look at the bold sub-head above this section. Say it out loud. This is what passes for sparkling dialogue between two of Game of Thrones’ wittiest characters.
“A girl is not a beggar anymore.”
Arya, after getting the shit beaten out of her again, gets brought back into The House of Black and White by Jaqen. Glad we’ve spent so much time on this.
“Thank you for saying that. It means a great deal to me.”
I have to admit, this is a moment I did not see coming. As Ramsay keeps talking about storming Castle Black and killing Jon Snow, his father, Roose, the man who stabbed Robb Stark in the heart, scoffs at his plans while patronizing his approach to problem solving. Especially considering his bride, Sansa, a key to alliances with other northern Houses, is still missing. Just then, news that his wife, Walda Bolton, has given birth, is delivered by the Maester.
After congratulating his father, Roose assures Ramsay that he’ll always be his first born, a presumed moment of levity after tensions between the two continued to escalate. Then Ramsay stabs his father, killing him in a clearly calculated move based on the non-reaction from Lord Karstark, a house that the Starks lost during the War of the Five Kings, which was a nice reminder that Robb Stark was not a terribly good decision maker.
What comes next is an early contender for the most-talked about moment of season six, and has already started a series of conversations on the necessity of the scene versus the discretion over what was shown (by Game of Thrones standards, anyway). It also seems to reveal that the show may be running out of ways to truly shock viewers, after all, we’re a long way from Eddard Stark’s sudden execution in season one’s penultimate episode. Granted, the show hasn’t shied away from infanticide in the past — hell, the season two premiere had an entire sequence dedicated to it — nor has it hesitated to show Ramsay’s true psychosis when it comes to feeding his dogs. So, now we’re here, and we get both of those things crammed together in one godawful moment, topped off with one of Ramsay’s supervillain-like quips, in case anyone out there forgot that he was the worst.
“I don’t want to be forgiven.”
Back to the running theme of out-of-place sentimentality, this camp side scene between Sansa, Brienne, and Theon (and Pod but he didn’t contribute anything worthwhile here) managed to showcase a pleasant moment where Sansa hears about her long-since missing sister, Arya. It would almost give some sense of hope that the fractured remains of House Stark will slowly come back together if every single viewer didn’t already know better.
Case in point, Theon, having seemingly de-Reeked himself, gives a tearful goodbye to Sansa, informing her of his intentions to return back home to the Iron Islands (because that worked out so well for him the last time).
“Where is your kingdom?”
Speaking of Theon’s home, their storyline comes back up, as Balon seems delusional about his ability to acquire and maintain a military presence on the mainland, while his daughter, Asha, openly criticizes the state of his House under his rule. Now that we’ve established that, Balon meets his brother Euron, draped in a cloak and shouting over a rainstorm about he is the storm and the Drowned God, before he (wait for it) throws Balon over the edge.
Also, there’s some back-and-forth about Asha wanting the throne but the priest being decidedly unenthusiastic about her chances of winning it via Ironborn law.
“Does he have to be?”
Okay, so, big surprise that literally everyone saw coming. Jon Snow is resurrected after Davos makes a plea to Melisandre, who’s still caught in her cycle of depression by way of her lost faith. Now, it’s not how this all went down that’s surprising to me. It’s the why — or rather, the lack thereof.
Sure, Davos paid lip-service to men “owing their lives to Jon Snow,” but this idea of resurrecting him seems as sentimental and out of place as anything. A monologue about Davos about why it was important would’ve seemed more convincing other than him spewing nonsense about his lack of faith, which is coupled with a request to resurrect someone.
Finally, the most boggling thing is the relative ease that she goes about this with. Apparently all you need is a quick trim and to even out your beard a little bit, mumble a couple phrases on old Valyrian, let it sit for five minutes, then, presto. Back to life.
Of course, we don’t know what manner of resurrection is at play here. Coming back to life was very different for Khal Drogo than it was (is?) for Beric Dondarrion. It also leaves a lot up in the air in regards to his oath to the Night’s Watch which is already on shaky ground for reasons mentioned earlier, to say nothing that both Sansa’s party and Ramsay have Castle Black in their sites in the coming weeks. Despite its misguided attempts to continue to shock and bewilder, as the series grows closer to completion, it’s working toward setting the stage for a potentially satisfying story over the next eight weeks.
64 Responses
If GOT is this much of a misery for you, friend, I suggest you cut your losses and watch something else. I can see no scenario in which you’ll be satisfied with the rest of the series. (I wish someone had extended me the same consideration for LOST…that’s a whole lot of hours I’d love to have back…)
Cry more, Christian Long. Cry more.
Thank you for saying that. As I read this “article” all I could think about was why are you even watching then? It sounds as if nothing the writers could do would be pleasing to your senses. As if he was the only one in on this big joke and the rest of us that actually ENJOY THE SHOW are somehow dimwitted morons who have no real culture or are easily amused.
GoT is brilliant. Week in and week out. Season after season.
I say bravo.
This author obviously hates life and himself. Maybe you should emerge from your mommy’s basement and go outside to play. Or does she have you chained up like a little dragon down there?
I could not agree more, Chaburchak. As I was reading this “review”, all I could think is “Why do you even watch this show if its so bad for you?!”. There’s plenty on TV these days,go find something better (good luck…).
My expectations for this season sadly have been far greater than what I feel like I am getting in return.
Really nice takeaway on the conversation between Tyrion and Varys – indeed it was like a Lewis and Martin moment and instead amounted to a missed opportunity for for some snappy dialogue.
What’s bothering me the most this season is the host of stories that need to be told and subsequently are getting two to three minutes of air time to move it along. Based on that belief, having so much screen time dedicated to a “heckler regaling drunks with stories of her (Cersei) walk of shame” was disheartening. Honestly, I don’t want to lose precious few minutes focused on such a meaningless aside. Give me the good stuff … or this season – the above-average stuff … okay the average stuff.
I do hope it gets better.
Martin and Lewis was the first thing that crossed my mind about the watered down, and frankly outright bad dialogue between Tyrion and Varys. Also, why waste time asking Messandai if the dragons considered her a friend, then not have her tag along for his dragon whispering?
I feel like his “I drink and I know things” quip, while it was sadly his best line, could’ve been replaced with a nod to the work he’d put into defending King’s Landing four seasons earlier. As the de facto leader of a city already near the brink of self-destruction, a little assurance for those left stranded at the top with him would’ve gone a long way.
The reason Tyrion asked Messandai about the dragons was to emphasize the point that dragons are not simply voracious killing machines but are highly intelligent and can have a clear understanding of friend and foe. And if you believe the theory that Tyrion is really a Targaryen then confronting the dragons alone for the first time is all the more compelling…that is what I believe the writers were going for.
This was a very poor review of the episode. Your criticism of some very key dialogue only highlights your lack of knowledge about this story and the books they are based upon. I unfortunately don’t have the time to address every oversight and misinterpretation your set out in your critique, but rest assured, they are many. Before you write another article about this show or the series I highly suggest that you invest some time in either reading the books, or at the very least, spend some time reading the episode reviews on sites such as Watchers On The Wall or Winter Is Coming. The authors of these articles have a great deal of insight into the series and the challenges of converting this story line into a television script, and you would do well to learn more about the subject of your criticism before putting pen to paper again.
Additionally, if you don’t have a stomach for the violence portrayed in this series, then don’t watch. These shows carry a rating for a reason, and if your own personal tastes are going to taint your review of the show’s content to the degree presented here then you would be better served reviewing basic cable shows.
Were you reading over my shoulder while I wrote my post? lol
Here’s a better idea: I’m not reviewing Martin’s book series, nor am I reviewing the show based on how closely they follow it. I’m reviewing a show that, while adapted from source material, has been tasked with standing on its own as a creative endeavor.
But thanks for your insight that the show contains violence. That hadn’t been made clear to me after watching this show for the past five-plus years, so thanks for that little revelation.
Mr. Long,
I think you need to stop watching the show if you can’t pay attention and hate it so much. I’m not going to waste my time answering point by point your questions about what’s happening this season. You seem to have missed most of the answers to your questions and complaints from the previous seasons. Maybe you should watch them again and try to focus more this time. You should know more about what you’re writing about if you’re going to write such an arrogant article.
Here’s another handy suggestion: stop commenting on these reviews if all you’re going to add is a half-hearted and grossly incorrect assessment of my own reasons for watching it.
Oh I am very much aware your only reason for writing these reviews is financial. That’s of course assuming someone actually pays you for your very informed opinion. I’m simply pointing out that your research of the topic your writing about is flawed and if you were trying to be professional you’d know your material better. But, I’ve now read a few of your responses to later posts and now realize that you have no desire to act professional. My apologies for giving you the benefit of the doubt. I thought I was addressing a writer and not just some tool that decided to call himself a critic one day.
For a guy who just spent a lot of time criticizing other writers you sure seem to take issue at your own work being criticized…..
+1
I agree with the rest. Your ability as a critic is dreadful.
You spout diatribe as if you are angry for not getting a part in it yourself. We, the true audience LOVE IT! It’s wonderful this season. Starting with a bang, and full of surprises. Wonderful.
I am surprised you claim to be a critic when it is clear you don’t like the show for your own personal reasons, having nothing to do with the actual viewing of it.
Shame on the Glide for printing your spewed venom, as if you had a talent for this… and shame on you for thinking so much of yourself that you feel you know anything about the show, or its impact on the viewing public, writing, or intended hidden message’s for we, the said viewers.
Get a new day job.
A respected, qualified for GOT critic, you are definitely not.
Oh, no, did someone disagree with your personal opinion? How cripplingly unfair on an emotional level it must be to realize there are others out there that don’t share your opinion of an overwrought TV soap opera.
I hope you and the “true audience,” as you put it, are able to console each other through this difficult time.
Meh. Okay, you have some problems with the show. Except your critique isn’t very thoughtful. Other people pointed that out already. I would like to clue you in on something else rather obvious: GoT, despite its brutality, IS sentimental. Those moments of heartfelt hope are not out of place. They are every bit as much in the spirit of the characters of the story as Ramsey’s vicious baby killing is. Like life, they exist side by side.
It must be an incredible challenge to bring the complexity that is G.R.R. Martin’s series to television. Your last comments on them “potentially” bringing a satisfying story over the next 8 weeks does little to distract from what seems like approximately 23 paragraphs of straight complaint. You can simply complain if you want to, but at least acknowledge the tremendous task they have undertaken to bring this story to cinematic life. I doubt you or I could do better within such a truncated format.
Oh, well I appreciate your permission to critique an episode in a write up that no one is forcing you to read, but I’m not going to lavish praise on anything just because the task of adapting a storyline from a series of books is difficult. Particularly when they’ve moved beyond the novelization and are going now on Martin’s cliff notes for how the series is intended to end.
Well, it seems that most of the readers dislike your review. Not me. There were a number of thoughts that I agreed with you on completely.
First up, Varys and Tyrion SO not up to the witty conversations of the past, I expected much more and also thought the entire ‘freeing the dragons’ scene was truly stupid. First of all, what difference will taking their collars off do? Second, they walked down those step with their ‘Mom’ and now they are triple(?) the size so how the hell can they be set free to roam and grow?
Don’t even get me started on Robo-guard. Forget the drunks, go clean out the sept of all the vermin, I’m sure Cersi would love to see the women that got her to confess and gave her the walk of shame makeover would be high on her list. And as to the drunks demise? It made me laugh out loud especially the part where you hear the piss going from the sound of the dirt to the ring of him pissing on the Robo-guard’s armored foot pieces.
As for any and all of the Greyjoys, meh. I’m glad Balon bought it because I couldn’t stand him but then, I can’t stand any of them so I guess the point is moot. I wish their part of the story was over for good. They’re just annoying.
Ramsey? There’s nothing else they can do anymore to make him ‘shocking’ I knew he would kill the mom and babe and wasn’t the least bit surprised he used his dogs. It’s old news hopefully now that Jon’s not dead and Sansa is one her way with a head start and Ramsey has his sights on Castle Black too I’m thinking it’s time for Jon to end him.
My parting shot? The Red Woman HAD to cut Jon’s hair. Because Kit was seen with shorter hair prior to the beginning of the filming of S-6. Thoros of Myr just said the words.
Will I keep watching? Yeah, but with luck the series will pick up, cull some of the unneeded story lines and get back to better story telling. If it doesn’t, then clearly Dan and David should have waited for George to finish the next book.
I think it’s vastly improved from the last season, but without Martin’s direct involvement as he tasks himself with finishing the next book, Benioff and Weiss have run gleefully around like kids who’ve discovered their parents liquor stash AND gun cabinet.
Martin’s involvement always assured that the show’s violence and tragedy was undercut with a sense of hope, whereas the show since the end of the fourth season has not.
Hi Cee Cee,
Your questions about the episode are very understandable. As a book reader I can give you a few answers that might help you out:
Tyrion removing the collars, for the purposes of the story, was not about freeing the dragons as much as it was about him demonstrating that he could connect with them. This was a HUGE moment in the story that a lot of people missed. As well-read as he is, being educated on dragons is not enough to tame them. Taming a dragon takes the blood of the dragon (Targaryan or dragon rider family lineage) or magic (such as a magic spell or even a magic horn). Tyrion’s story tha the told the dragons, which was criticized by the author of this mess of an article, was a shorter version of a very sad tale about Tyrion’s youth and his obsession with dragons. The theory here that we are now one HUGE step closer to seeing be proved is that Tyrion is actually a Targaryan. The Mad King allegedly fathered Tyrion, which is why Tywin hated him so much, but it could never be proved. Now it appears that Tyrion’s dragon obsession as an unloved child, as well as his ability to soothe two dragons who have never seen him before, may in fact be because he has the blood of the dragon in his veins. If you’ll remember the prophecy that “the dragon has 3 heads” that is mentioned a few times during the series (just like the Targaryan coat of arms) you’ll see that there is a need for 3 dragon riders to save the world. The first is obviously Daeny, the second may be Jon, and the third is now more than likely going to be Tyrion. So anyway, don’t worry about the dragons escaping just yet, that wasn’t the significance of that scene so much as hinting at who Tyrion really is.
As for Robert Strong and his gratuitous violence, that was meant to demonstrate that he has freakish strength and speed despite being a zombie of some kind, as well as to allow viewers to not see that his cruelty survived his death as well. Additionally, it was meant to show that Cersei is going to use him to do her bidding, and to more than likely defend her in her upcoming trial by combat. The writers want us to dislike him, and Cersei, and to see that despite what they went through they are very much still wicked and cruel. So your criticism of this scene is pretty much exactly why it was put in there.
As for the Greyjoy storyline, just be patient. The upcoming kingsmoot and what transpires afterwards will play a sizeable role in the storyline. We need the Greyjoys to play a larger role this season, especially given the early departure of Dorne. There is a lot of treachery and good story telling about to happen with them that don’t want to spoil for you, but just be patient. Some good stuff is coming that is necessary to tie some of the individual character arcs together.
Lastly, Jon’s hair and the spell that Melisandre did served two purposes. First, the haircut aspect of it was sort of a joke on us all because of “Harrington Hair Watch” where everyone was worried about the shortness of his hair during the offseason. It was a clever way of trying to throw us off, and it was likely one of the fake clues or evidence about Jon Snow that the producers put out there. (Maisie Williams in fact taunted fans with her knowledge of fake clues that we were jumping all over in hopes of trying to figure out the character’s fate.) Additionally, the simplicity of the spell that Melisandre recited was meant to be that, simple and underwhelming. If you remember back to Thoros of Myr who taught her this spell, he was able to resurrect Beric Dondarion at a time when his faith and his power was almost nonexistent, but his love and respect for his friend was higher than ever. The only thing that drives this resurrection spell is a love for the dead individual, not one’s power as a priest or priestess. Also, keep in mind that Melisandre just burnt a little girl at the stake, so we needed to see a more human side of her as well as to see that she very much regretted what she did in the name of her God. We essentially needed to like some aspect of her, or else our hatred of her might taint Jon’s resurrection. So anyway, it needed to be simple rather than some extravagant spell or event for those reasons as well as some others that we might not recognize yet.
I hope those explanations some. And if you ever have more questions you should check out some actual fan sites rather than read garbage critiques like this article here. You’ll learn a lot more about the reasons behind certain things in this series and you’ll probably enjoy the show much more as a result.
Thank you Ens80!
I read the first book many years ago which was the reason I started watching it in the first place. What I’ve learned from your reply has helped me make the decision as to whether or not I should read the rest.
Clearly it would help me understand some of the undercurrents of the characters stories better and then I wouldn’t be missing such foreshadowing plotline bits… It also now makes more sense to me of why Red said she saw him fighting at Winterfell before Davos came to ask her to help.
I guess it’s time to hit eBay or Amazon and also thank you for being pleasant about explaining the ‘whys & wherefores’ to me! 🙂
Sorry… Enz80!
Hi, I think the dragons have a backdoor exit they can escape from now that the chains are off, of course they’re bigger now and unless they destroy the front door they would still be trapped. But because they went back deep into the shadows I think now they can leave or even fly out a backdoor. I enjoyed Tyrion’s dragon story, and still hope he is half Targarian on his real father’s side, The Mad King. He deserves a great ending in the story and said he always wanted a pet dragon, how cool would it be if the was a Dragon Head riding into battle on fire breathing dragon! Also about Jon Snow, he can leave the wall now that his death officially ended his oath to the Nights Watch and go battle where he is most needed and even eventually claim a dragon to ride. His oath to the Watch is fulfilled, if he is the True Chosen One Aegon reincarnated with both Stark and Targarian parents in his blood, WOW, I’m all gushy inside! Great Stuff!
Dear Reviewer,
You should find something else to watch, and not write reviews if you are not going to say positive things that people who like this show want to hear. How dare you exercise your right to freedom, of choice, expression, and speech. LOL never mind that you were very informative, never once insulted the complete lack of content which is this show, or point out how they needed to add more storylines, like they needed a hole in the head. Now, you get 3 minute clips every other week, and you have about 20 minutes to accomplish moving this storyline for the year, person retched storyline. Let’s face facts, in 2 episodes we’ve seen that now past the books, the writers are completely lost. They still cling to the hope that with enough truly sickening, sociopath ideas, like feeding newborns to dogs. It is going to draw an audience and keep this ship from running out of steam.
Seriously, this show is supposed to be about this battle for a throne and winter coming. LOLOLOLOL WHEN?????? 6 seasons later winter is still coming, and truly how hard can it be to win this game and take the throne. Some old priest dude, with a few bald alterboys with clubs apparently control everything. So much for powerful armies, who don’t even fight to begin with. LOLOLOL Everything in this whole show is a contradiction of itself, and has more silly holes then swish cheese does. Lets face it, without the wonderful talent of Peter Dinklage and Emilia’s naked body. There’d be no point to this show.
Seriously this reviewer needs to go f–k himself. he gets paid for begin a debbie downer? Go watch another show asshat.
No, I believe you’re the one that can go fuck themselves. I’ll watch, recap, and review any show I feel like, and I won’t falsely prop up any endeavor with critical praise just because “Me” (great screenname, by the way) might not agree with my interpretation.
Your stellar writing ability is outdone only by your consummate professionalism. I wonder, where does one go to learn these ways? I feel much like Bran, chasing the dream of a three-eyed raven that he hopes will have the answers he so desperately seeks. You, Mr. Long, are a revelation. One that should be experienced by all who enjoy reading quality content and wish to learn how to not properly interact with the madness of we the common folk dwelling in the hellish pit that is your comment section. I wish you only the best as you express your vapid opinions then allow your emotions to cause you to lash out at the poor uneducated serfs while you script such compelling material. Good stuff, sir. I commend you on such incomparable work.
How many people are you talking to? One or many?
Without you reminder, I fear I would have forgotten how much better YOUR version of things is than the original…oh, never mind. You haven’t actually created anything, yet you want to complain and discredit the work of others. You sound more petulant child than reveiw critic.
Wow, such an attempt to attack me and what I do in my personal life over a simple assessment of a TV show. Now who sounds like a petulant child?
I have just one thing to add…. Theon did NOT say he was going to the iron islands… He said, “home” the iron island have never really been home to him, so, did he mean winterfell? Does he plan to go back and kill Ramsey himself? Or maybe to take the punishment he feels he deserves? Hmmmm
Always classy when a reviewer trolls people who don’t like his review. I thought it was a pretty good episode myself.
For someone that seems to bash everything aspect of the show, you sure can’t take criticism yourself. Reading your review one thing is clear; you went into this episode already deciding not to like it. Nothing made you happy. The plot, dialogue, violence, and how easy it is to resurrect someone in a fantasy series? That’s what doesn’t make sense? You watching this show and doing a review is like a vegan doing a food review on a burger joint. Because you don’t like it, you watch it anyway and try to write a shit review to ruin it for others. And if you can’t handle the shocking violence the Disney channel gas some appropriate shows for you to watch.
Lighten up guys, it’s a soap opera.
More dragons and bare breasts is all I ask for. Oh, and Ramsey’s head on a pike.
You, sir, have hit the nail on the head. This is a show for geeks, by geeks and based on books written by one of the biggest geeks of all time. And what do we geeks want? Dragons! And titties! And the occasional dagger getting shoved through someone’s eye socket. Christian has every right to elucidate his extensive geek criticism of the show, and all the geeks who love the show are of course going to criticize his criticism. It’s what we geeks do. Well, that and we want to fantasize about seeing titties and dragons and killing people, not necessarily in that order.
What in theeee hell is wrong with everyone? I mean, EVERYONE….
First, the reviewer: I have no problem with what this review said about the show, and in particular this season’s first two episodes. The guy’s job is to REVIEW and GIVE HIS OPINION…..and it is just that, HIS opinion, which he is both entitled to as well as paid to give….those of you who do not LIKE or agree with his opinion are also entitled to say as much, but why on earth do you express such obvious personal and disproportionate hostility and animosity towards the reviewer? Seriously, why is everyone so BENT out of shape over what the reviewer actually “reviewed?” It is just a TV SHOW……and before you accuse the reviewer of being some “jealous”, spiteful hack because he is not the creative force behind the book or TV shows, let it be known that YOU seem just as jealous for not being the REVIEWER of the episode(s) who gets his OPINION (there’s that word again) published and paid for all at the same time! Go start your own websites if you truly feel that strongly about it…..
Second, having said all that (and used the word “REVIEWER” too many times), I personally disagree with much of the actual content of the review and the assessment of this episode (season 6 #2) expressed above…..I personally thought the episode was pretty good, and did a lot to recharge the false start that Episode 1 sputtered forth back on April 24….As some of you stated above, GOT is a massive endeavor of which a central component is indeed SENTIMENTALITY. Does it sometimes overdo it a little? Sure, but so what….as I said this is a MASSIVE endeavor and there will be a few weaknesses or misfires, but altogether, it holds up pretty damn well…..and while I also do not understand or agree with the criticism of the violence within GOT, I likewise do not have a problem with people who HAVE A PROBLEM with the violence….this is pretty sad, sick stuff at times, and I would be troubled if no one was TROUBLED; even I cringe at certain moments and have initial aversions to scenes like Walda & baby becoming dog chow, but that is the WORLD of GOT. And incidentally, if any of you want to bother to read or watch each day’s news (either on TV or here on the internet) you will sadly see that out own REAL world is just as bad, if not worse than this fictional universe on HBO.
Everyone needs to find a way to express their opinions about OTHER OPINIONS without getting so personal or hostile, and people like the REVIEWER need to add a layer or two of skin if they are going to continue to review, publish, and be paid for writing their opinion(s), and not TAKE everything personally.
Dang Christian Long –
You really enjoy taking for granted the quality of this show compared to most. With all shows, there are going to be mistakes and of course things that could have probably be done better or in a different way when in hindsight.
That being said, the show is still intriguing as ever, and keeps viewers coming back week in and week out. Those who seemingly fall behind in the plotlines have people like us to catch them up and explain the nitty gritty details.
Ask your boss for a re-assignment.
Man… I can’t wait to see the show that Christian puts out… as awesome and popular as Got is, a guy who could clearly do so much better could make billions with his own show!
This review is a classic example of one that needs to be tempered by the quote by Anton Ego in “Ratatouille”:
“In many ways, the work of a critic is easy. We risk very little, yet enjoy a position over those who offer up their work and their selves to our judgment. We thrive on negative criticism, which is fun to write and to read. But the bitter truth we critics must face, is that in the grand scheme of things, the average piece of junk is probably more meaningful than our criticism designating it so.”
And that is absolutely all that needs to be said about this review.
you come off as a smug d-bag, you will not enjoy this season, so stop reviewing it
Very comprehensive overview of Episode 2 of GOT—-However….You can’t seem to resist throwing in a dose of sarcasm on every aspect of last week’s episode. The edginess starts to overshadow the review. There seems to be something about the show (or the dialogue) that’s bothering you, aside from the fact that you basically like it. Are you deliberately trying to stir things up, or are you just one of those people who’s never satisfied?
Duh, Jon is important due to the threat of the white walkers. He is basically the one guy that the wildlings even trust outside of their own. Plus Tormund highly respects him, and would gladly follow him into battle. Since he’s in charge of the wildlings, it’s kind of important as I highly doubt they’d follow the traitorous Thorne. Not to mention that many in the night’s watch love and respect him, and he is key to uniting everyone in the kingdoms against the walkers. Also, did the scene where the night’s watch basically disobeying Thorne’s order to fight, and die mean anything to you? I think that scene was important because it showed that the men of the night’s watch would not die for Thorne, as they’ve faced even worse odds, yet they fought/died for Snow.
I swear, it’s like you really don’t pay attention, or you simply are reviewing a show you don’t care for. There wasn’t a need for Davos to give some speech about why Jon surviving is so important, as the creators of the show have already addressed why over the past few seasons, heck, they even did so in this episode! Also, I found Tyrion’s joke about having no penis hilarious, especially considering that Grey Worm was in the room. Lastly, this show has always been brutally violent, so if you view the graphic deaths as a negative, maybe you should find another show to watch.
I just read your review of the episode/show and although I don’t agree with some of what you said, I understand and respect that it is your right to say whatever you want about it. I was, however, a bit surprised that, as a reviewer, you’d respond in the way you have to several of the commens people have left. We all know fans can be very defensive of their shows and characters therein, but simply ignoring them would reflect better on you as a professional, than slinging the mud right back at them. No hostility here, just a thought.
*comments, not commens (that’s what I get for not re-reading my posts before submitting them.)
It sure did drive up the page views, though.
I really don’t get why people like you watch the show if you don’t like it.
“It’s not even the biggest insult that we haven’t been told why, exactly, unchaining the dragons is a good idea… ”
I stopped reading your article after this line, seeing as you completely missed the dialogue that happened literally 3 minutes before this scene where Tyrion explains that he thinks the reason the dragons aren’t eating is because they’re withering away in captivity. Free the dragons, and they might start to act like themselves again.
And why does everyone bitch and moan about Ramsy doing horrible things? Hes a horrible person who does horrible things, why should he stop doing them just because you feel the points been made that hes a supervillan? Thats not how things work
But hey, I get it. You write articles like these playing the contrarian to get people like me to comment, which you’ve succeeding in doing. Trolling gets clicks
The writers seem to be giving the audience what they think they want, and I think that is the difference now that the show has surpassed the book. I think that is what is taking away from the suspense and magic of what we’ve seen in previous seasons. Don’t get me wrong, its nice to see things like Jon coming back to life, Tyrion whispering and releasing drgaons and Sansa finally having things go her way for once, but somehow it doesn’t feel like those things are supposed to be happening. GOT is known for being merciless and devastating.
probably one of the worst articles I have ever read. obviously the author has not read any of the books. Time to find a new job
That’s because it’s not a review of the books. It’s a review of a TV show based on a series of books.
Christian, sorry, but you’re not smart or witty enough to make a snarky review work. This reads as immature and deliberately attention-seeking. Sorry that you’re stuck in this job when you want to be a movie star or editing Rolling Stone or whatever.
Terrible review. Many of the things you seem confused over are explained in the books, but even if you have never read them some of these things have been touched on in the show. I did not find the deaths you mentioned “slapstick”, and rather enjoyed the episode. I’m glad that your opinions don’t matter.
Likewise.
You know nothing Christian Long. Get another job
The reviewer is pulling a Donald Trump. He is taking a stance to cause controversy and its working. How many of you have read countless other GoT articles and didn’t even notice the author’s name? Now you know Christian Long. I don’t agree with the article, but he’s accomplished his goal.
Apparently the writer of this review nodded off during episode 2. Tyrion let the dragons loose so they would eat. There was a rather lengthy dialogue about that in his suite of rooms. The dragons do not eat when they are chained up, so they had to be unchained in order to survive. Also, Tyrion didn’t learn about dragons in Westeros – it has been said a few times in prior seasons that he wanted a dragon as a child and that he read everything written about dragons.
damn, i thought this was the silicon valley review!
Dude, it’s a tv show. An extremely entertaining tv show…With tits and dragons. I’m not expecting a deep story on the flaws of humanity and/or modern society told through the tale of a medieval fantasy show for adults. I want a good story, with good characters and violence. The nudity is the cherry on top. It’s not a documentary or an expose’. Let yourself be entertained. This is the first article I’ve read of yours, and if this is how the rest of your articles are, more than likely my last.
Can’t say that I’ll miss you.
LOL I love book readers. GoT gets more critical reviews than any show on tv but most of the time viewers can take it because we love the show anyway….or that’s how it use to be. I’m kind of disappointed with some commenters for acting like TWD viewers. TWD fan base can’t handle any negative reviews and don’t even think about touching their fave characters. I always felt a sense of pride in the GoT’s viewers because they could handle it. We could handle it because we are confident that the GoT’s is the real deal and can handle the heat…it will still stand. TWD is like built on a deck of cards and they are afraid any negative review will blow their hype down!!! I LOVE both shows btw.
Her name is Yara. Not Asha. Asha was the wildling that took care of Bran in the earlier seasons.