At Long Last, ‘Game Of Thrones’ Gives Some Overdue, Bittersweet Payoff (TV REVIEW)

[rating=8.00] “Battle of the Bastards”

The long-anticipated, (and unfortunately titled), “Battle of the Bastards” dominated the pop culture conversation last night — at least for those who weren’t caught up in Game 7 — bringing together years of interweaving storylines into one climactic battle that would decide the fate of the North. Along with that, we’re finally seeing an endgame with Daenerys, courtesy of an unlikely alliance from the Iron Islands, making it one of the most rapid-paced and plot-advancing episodes in the show’s six seasons.

“We’re here to discuss your surrender, not mine.”

So, after an entire season away from Meereen, Daenerys is back in town to find her city under siege, and not terribly impressed with Tyrion’s efforts in the realm of diplomacy. At her request, the Masters from the slave colonies waging war against her meet to discuss the terms of surrender, thinking they’d beaten back the Breaker of Chains, demanding she release Missandei and the Unsullied army to the highest bidder while she goes quietly into the night (or, in this case, the daytime).

Amazing what three dragons and a few thousand Dothraki will do for your confidence.
Amazing what three dragons and a few thousand Dothraki will do for your confidence.

Her response was basically a non-verbal reminder that she has three dragons, (two of which miraculously make their way out of the crypt just in time to join the fun) and laid to waste the Masters’ fleet in a few seconds. Normally I’d take some issue with how completely it felt like a rushed version of style over substance, but with Daenerys’ recycled storyline cobbled together from past seasons along with her “will she or won’t she” approach to her leading the people of Meereen, it was great to get some gutturally satisfying fire-breathing action.

“I never demand, but I’m up for anything, really.”

It was a jarring cut to go from some back-and-forth pre-battle tension between Jon Snow and Sansa to Theon and Yara Greyjoy just suddenly hanging out in Daenerys’ conference room. Tyrion remembers Theon from Winterfell, more specifically, Theon’s flippant attitude toward him in the show’s earliest episodes. “We all live complicated lives,” observes Tyrion, whose skepticism is receded only when he finds out that Theon’s not interested in the Salt Throne, but is there on behalf of his sister.

The conversation between Yara and Daenerys really seems to untie George R.R. Martin’s infamous “Meereenese knot.” Tara gives Daenerys 100 ships to help her take Westeros, in exchange Yara gets to rule the Iron Islands on the condition that they’re not allowed to rape and pillage any longer. Yara’s not happy about eroding her peoples’ way of life, but Daenerys is extra confident after erasing more than two seasons worth of issues with the Masters in a matter of a few seconds.

That and Yara’s proposition doesn’t involve an arranged marriage (unlike her uncle’s), though she readily admits that she’s up for anything. God, what a great line. #TeamYara

“You’re going to die tomorrow. Sleep well, Lord Bolton.”

While Jon Snow and Ramsay Bolton had only recently become at odds with one-another, the Bolton’s savage takeover of the North, as well as Jon and Sansa’s former home of Winterfell, weighed heavy for seasons now. And Ramsay has proven himself to be an off-leash Joffrey with his sadistic streak turned up to 11. We were also treated to one of the all-time classic Game of Thrones moments, when the head of two armies come together to discuss the upcoming battle.

Ramsay not only has the castle of Winterfell, but the largest and most powerful houses in the North, and a standing army that outnumber Jon’s three-to-one. Jon, meanwhile, has 2,000 Wildlings, one giant, a direwolf that suddenly went MIA for this episode (seriously, what the fuck?) and Lady Mormont and her 62 fighting men.

Obligatory
Obligatory

The battle was hyped as one of the biggest, most expensive, and most epic in the show’s history. It manages to deliver, easily outshining the other two battle-heavy episodes, season two’s “Blackwater” and season four’s “The Watchers on the Wall.” As well as a far cry from the days when we’d only hear about the great battles Robb Stark would wage against the Lannisters during the War of the Five Kings after they’d already happened.

The tension the night before is complicated by Sansa being at odds with her half-brother. She wants to be listened to, yet admittedly knows nothing about battle. But she’s right in the sense that she does know Ramsay, and does her best to warn Jon of his sadistic, trap-setting nature. Davos, turning down getting drunk on sour goat’s milk with Tormund takes a stroll and runs across the tiny stag figure he’d made for Shireen the season prior. A glaring reminder that with all this betrayal of the Night’s Watch and resurrection of Jon Snow, Davos still didn’t know what happened to Shireen, and Melisandre being the only one left alive who would know.

Of course, once the battle starts, Jon Snow lives up to his moniker inside of about two minutes. Ramsay lays a trap, Jon walks right into it, and blows the one tactical advantage he had by having his army stand their ground. Given that the bait for this trap is Rickon Stark, whose death seemed both tragic and kind-of unfeeling, given that he’d been out of things since season three, and has had zero lines since being brought back this year. The extension of his character was simply to exist, only to be struck down in a carefully orchestrated gut punch.

On that level, it worked, and the battle itself mostly led up to the hype. The cinematography and direction would approach (literally) breathtaking moments, and will undoubtedly go down as one of the show’s all-time best moments.

I mean, come on. That's great stuff.
I mean, come on. That’s great stuff.

While it felt, at times, like an immersive, almost non-cinematic experience, it’s beholden to tropes, and like when Tywin led an army of Tyrell soldiers into the Battle of Blackwater Bay, so did Littlefinger ride in alongside Sansa with the massive army from House Arryn. It was more than a tad predictable, we knew Sansa had sent that scroll to somebody important, and it’s not like Westeros is teeming with Stark allies. She’s still wanted for Joffrey’s murder and is an enemy of the crown, as Jamie reminded Brienne last week (who, incidentally, was also sorely missed this week. Would’ve been great to see her fight alongside Tormund, with their face-biting ways).

Even Wun-Wun gets a sentimental sendoff (by Game of Thrones standards, anyway), and ends up being the last heinous act by Ramsay. Who, it turns out, is so loathsome that even the most graphic and suitably ironic death wasn’t quite enough to satisfy viewers — but it was close. Regardless, it’s nice that someone enjoyed it. Seriously, we haven’t seen a smile like that since she was freed of her marriage arrangement to Joffrey.

Sansa-Smiling

Keep in mind, Sansa still didn’t tell Jon about the army from The Veil, so it’ll be interesting to see what her motivations are going forward, and just how much of a long game Littelfinger’s really playing here.

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